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Products Quotes

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Products Quotes

“The currency of blogging is authenticity and trust... you pay folks to blog about a product and you compromise that. I would almost care about this, but it's so obvious to everyone that this is either a joke or an idiot that there is nothing more to say.”

Care Funny Pay Products Jokes Folks Obvious Authenticity Compromise Idiot Thoughtful Currency Blogs Blogging

Author:Jason Calacanis

“I have always sensed the exhilaration and independence of being self-propelled. Besides, you can jog while pushing a baby carriage. Maybe I'm a product of Wonder Woman comic books”

Inspirational Book Self Funny Wonder Products Baby Independence Comic Pushing Entertaining Comic Book Athletics Carriages Exhilaration Wonder Woman Bloopers

Author:Nina Kuscsik

“For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.”

Want Needs Ideas Humor Funny Car Products Thousand Filled Oil Not Sure Malls Parking Hydrogen Parking Lot Hindenburg

Author:Dennis Miller

“Humour is the describing the ludicrous as it is in itself; wit is the exposing it, by comparing or contrasting it with something else. Humour is, as it were, the growth of nature and accident; wit is the product of art and fancy.”

Art Funny Growth Humour Products Accidents Wit Compare Fancy Describing Exposing

Book:Lectures on the English Comic Writers

Source: Lectures on the English Comic Writers

“This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be hard. The mailman will get shot, the envelope will not seal, the stamp will be in the wrong denomination. The final payment must be made in wampum.”

Made Hard Humor Funny Three Easy Four Tvs Products Shots Finals Available Complicated Stamps Payment Seals Envelopes Denominations Mailman

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.”

Ifs Should Humor Funny Night Easy Dark Rooms Middle Products Integrity Should Have Mad Surprise Boxes Versions Bus Cheese Temperature Middle Of The Night Crackers Glow In The Dark

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!"”

Thinking Knows Needs Mean Hard Humor Seems Funny Night Water Tvs Products Late Garden Plant Late Night Very Mean Cactus

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“We use similar products. Our focus industry is healthcare and hospitality. But we haven?t done anything interactive. The first day full of seminars is full of things I thought would be useful: quick service restaurant and mobile phone applications. Businesses are providing more services and products by self-service means.”

“You know I used to work at Ikea, selling over 7,000 products. Give me a number between 1-7,000 I'll tell you about it. Sorry out of stock, lucky you chose that one.”

Knows Giving Humor Funny Used Numbers Products Lucky Give Me Sorry Selling Lucky You Ikea

Author:Milton Jones

“Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?”

Humor Funny Products

Author:Steven Wright