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Return Quotes

“I got jury duty and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?”

PeopleThinkingWantShouldWritingSaidHumorFunnyFormHateDutyLike YouReturnMy FriendsI HateRacistJuryChinksJury Duty
Author:Sarah Silverman
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“I think it's great some hotels provide stationery. Because the first thing I like to do when I get to a hotel room is write a letter. "My dearest Gwendolyn, I arrived by nightfall at the Embassy Suites. It will be a fortnight after my return that this letter shall arrive. Allow me to explain the curious charge at the ledger. It is because I miss thee so much, darling, I accidentally ordered Sorrority Sisters 7."”

ThinkingWritingFirstsFunnyRoomsComedyMissingReturnLettersCuriousTheeHotelDarlingHotel RoomsNightfallEmbassyFortnightStationery
Author:Jim Gaffigan
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