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Turns Quotes

Browse 10965 quotes about Turns.

Turns Quotes

“I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide.”

Men Want Should Humor Funny Guy Turns Race Feet Car Window Radio Circles Drivers Keep Going Tides Slow Down Bugs Turn-on Passengers Race Car

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.”

Ifs Knows Want Humor Funny Turns Phones Cells Cell Phone

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.”

Made Kids Funny Turns Fire Heard Team Worst Beats China Opening Usa Worn Uniforms Olympics Committees Ceremony Gymnastics London Olympics Made In China Opening Ceremony

Author:Jay Leno

“The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.”

Way Inspirational Funny Beautiful Turns Best Way Profile

Author:Sacha Guitry

“... Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose.”

Doe Body Funny Turns Expectations Humorous Wine Bottom Glasses Excuse Noses Wine Glass Rims Great Expectations Important

Book:Great Expectations

Source: Great Expectations

“He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.”

Source: The Works of Charles Dickens: Sketches by Boz : illustrative of every day life and everyday people. 1903

“I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.”

Knows Trying Use Humor Light Funny Used Night Turns Water Nice Middle Dating Get Up Bathroom Turn-on Middle Of The Night Funny Dating

Author:Adam Ferrara