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Calvin Trillin Quotes

Journalist

Calvin Trillin is an American journalist known for his humorous and satirical writing style. Born on December 5, 1935, he has had a career that spans various fields, including literature, commentary, and news reporting.

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All Ifs People Restaurants Thinking Writing Book Knows Way Food School Turns Cooking Home Long May Trying Used Wells World Average

Famous Calvin Trillin Quotes

“If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?”

Ifs Hard Humor School Funny Law Lawyer Law School

Author:Calvin Trillin

“Sometimes, if I had until the next day to turn the story in, I'd head home, finding that the knot in the narrative came loose with the rhythmic clacking of the subway train.”

Ifs Sometimes Stories Home Turns Next Findings Train Narrative Next Day Knots Subway

Author:Calvin Trillin

“There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.”

Ifs Writing Source Jokes Okay Plus Inappropriate

Author:Calvin Trillin

“The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that's not class warfare because it's down; you have to talk about rich people before it's class warfare.”

People Ifs Interesting Class Rich Welfare Warfare Cheat Rich People Interesting Things Class Warfare

Author:Calvin Trillin

“If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?”

Ifs Mean Unions Slave Tall

Book:Enough's Enough: And Other Rules of Life

Source: Enough's Enough: And Other Rules of Life

“If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.”

Ifs Writing Inappropriate

Author:Calvin Trillin

“Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.”

Ifs Giving Used Tradition Tables Following Defense Fats Vampire Chickens Excess Liquid Garlic Jewish Tradition Heartburn

Book:Alice, Let's Eat: Further Adventures of a Happy Eater

Source: Alice, Let's Eat: Further Adventures of a Happy Eater

“"Law professors were never like economics professors," a Harvard Law professor told me. "If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool."”

Ifs Law Fool Economics Professors Harvard

Author:Calvin Trillin

“I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays — they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year—but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West 'a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors'?”

Ifs Years May Real Kids Used Birth Majors Draws West What If Survivor Celebration Reminders Balloons Sundance

Book:Travels with Alice

Source: Travels with Alice

“Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the faculty. If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers?”

Ifs Hard School Law Three Sex Successful Students Football College Lawyer Plenty Faculty Parking Law School Alumni

Author:Calvin Trillin

“I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.”

Ifs Thinking Writing Mind Important Self Difficult Walking Shots Self Confidence Endeavor

Author:Calvin Trillin

“If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?”

Ifs Guy Grows Leaving Stores Beard Health Food Stumps Bumblebees

Author:Calvin Trillin

“If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?”

Ifs Mean Doe Age Class Military Smart West Graduates Smarter West Point Haig Graduating Class

Book:Uncivil liberties

Source: Uncivil liberties

About the Author

Born: December 5, 1935
Known for: Journalist
Quotes: 103

Books & Sources

Uncivil libertiesRelated source material

Third HelpingsRelated source material

American fried; adventures of a happy eaterRelated source material

About AliceRelated source material

Alice, Let's Eat: Further Adventures of a Happy EaterRelated source material

If you can't say something niceRelated source material

Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin: Forty Years of Funny StuffRelated source material

Enough's Enough: And Other Rules of LifeRelated source material

Deadline Poet: My Life As a DoggerelistRelated source material

Feeding a Yen: Savoring Local Specialties, from Kansas City to CuzcoRelated source material

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