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Carl Hiaasen

Carl Hiaasen Books

Journalist

Carl Hiaasen, born on March 12, 1953, is a renowned journalist and author from the United States. His works are known for their humor, satire, and exposure of social issues, primarily focusing on the political and social realities of Florida.

Carl Hiaasen Collection: Hoot, Flush, S...

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Hoot

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Chomp

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Nature Girl

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Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Touris...

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Scat

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Sick Puppy

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Skin Tight

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Strip Tease

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Related Quotes

“The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train.”

Silence Quiet Train Simile

Book:Hoot

Source: Hoot

“He paused and manufactured a chuckle.”

Laugh Imagery Chuckle

Book:Hoot

Source: Hoot

“Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty.”

Funny Food Humour Joke Dessert Cafeteria

Book:Hoot

Source: Hoot

“Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.”

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“So for a while, they sat peacefully in the swamp, listening to Mrs. Starch hum while the little panther slurped happily and the emerald leaves overhead shimmered and shook in the sunlight.”

Sunlight Leaves Swamp Panther Carl Hiaasen Scat

Book:Scat

Source: Scat

“In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.”

Courage Carl Hiaasen Chomp

Book:Chomp

Source: Chomp

“Hey. Sometimes to conclusions.”

Sometimes Conclusion Hey

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“My books are character-driven. They're not driven by the story.”

Book Character Stories Driven

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well; I wouldn't do as good a job.”

Ifs Thinking Writing Wells Book Character Jobs Guy Clean Casts Bored Detectives Slate Gals Clean Slate So Bored

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“The central part of the state is more remote and less scenic, and there's a huge agricultural belt that stretches from the south of Lake Okeechobee to the border of Everglades National Park, where the restoration effort is being concentrated, .. Obviously the movement to save the Everglades runs up against agricultural concerns.”

States Running Effort Movement Huge Concern South Borders Parks Lakes Agriculture Belts Restoration National Parks Scenic Everglades

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.”

World Book Happens Cases Novel Cutting Sea Example Profession Sensible Thieves Publishing Clown Manhattan Fisherman Sly Crabs Rodeo Book Publishing

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On the one hand this' and 'On the other hand that.' You're getting paid for your opinion.”

Hands Given Opinion Paid Newspapers Fence Scratches Columns Chins

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.”

Want Years Character Dark Mystery Unique Setting Settings Parks Plot Provocative Strands Illusory Unwind Bangkok

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points.”

Different Facts Inspiration Shame Contemporary Rely Satire Attempting Different Place Headlines Raiding

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched.”

Way Real Life Is Real Life Novelists

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it's changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don't know why, except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something.”

“The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind.”

Firsts Tree Wind Palms Hurricanes Coverage Bending Palm Trees

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“It's easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate.”

Easy Aspect Debate Healthcare Distracted Easy To Get

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“My escape is to just get in a boat and disappear on the water.”

Water Disappear Boat

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“You can do the best research and be making the strongest intellectual argument, but if readers don't get past the third paragraph you've wasted your energy and valuable ink.”

Ifs Past Energy Can Do Reader Intellectual Research Argument Thirds Valuable Strongest Ink Do The Best Paragraph

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school.”

School Middle Smart Middle School Smart Aleck

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block.”

Block Unemployment Writer's Block

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life.”

Thinking Writing Real Hard Happens Novel Scene Real Life Florida Curves

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I think it's always good for the author to stay a good cattle prod's distance from the actual moviemaking.”

Thinking Distance Cattle

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding.”

Book Different Sometimes Found Literature Mystery Department Sections Different Place Bookstores Aisle

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.”

Believe Hard Would Be Rooms Subjects Higher Beats Entertainment Ignorant Idle Emergencies Elderly Temperature Palin Euthanasia Nudge Emergency Room

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough.”

Enough Speak Politician One Word

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was curious to see what would happen to him after Bad Monkey. And I liked the idea of him still trying to get his detective job back while he's stuck on roach patrol.”

Trying Stills Ideas Character Happens Jobs Attitude Novel Stuck Curious Monkeys Detectives Main Characters Roaches Consecutive

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my very best friends are lawyers, though they don't resemble the ones that appear in my novels.”

Novel Son Dad My Dad Lawyer Grandfather My Grandfather Oldest Son

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Unfortunately, Florida is a mecca for the shyster element, and there are apparently no rules on the kinds of advertising a lawyer can do.”

Kind Can Do Elements Lawyer Advertising Florida Mecca

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“The TV commercials, which are endless and fairly crass, gave birth to Brock, the bad-lawyer character in Razor Girl. In real life you can find even sleazier examples than him.”

Real Character Girl Example Tvs Birth Lawyer Real Life Endless Razors Crass Tv Commercial

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned.”

Shows Dream Reality Genius Concepts Folks Reality Shows

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.”

Whole America Guy White Tvs South Fascinated Ducks Accents Viewers Fascination Beard Redneck Enchanted Dynasty White Guys Dentistry Moonshine

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions.”

States Facts Unions Notion Exception Phenomenon Redneck Hardcore

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just a bunch of actors who had to be trained to be rednecks. That's not so farfetched, if you know how Hollywood works.”

Ifs Knows Writing Would Be Girl Actors Fun Know How Tvs Hollywood Bunch Redneck Razors

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Disney is just Disney. It's a company that's very good at what it does - controlling and promoting an image - until something happens that it can't control or cover up.”

Doe Happens Company Very Good Things Happen Promoting Cover Ups

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“That dreadful alligator attack in Orlando would never have happened if Disney had put up real warning signs, like other Florida resorts do. But wild alligators don't fit the Disney image, so they were no proper warnings, and a child died for no reason.”

Ifs Children Real Reason Happened Fit Died No Reason Warning Florida Resorts Alligators Orlando Warning Signs

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild places that haven't disappeared under concrete. What's left is still worth fighting for, and that's why I stay.”

Stills States Fighting Left Born Havens Raised Affection Concrete Florida Worth Fighting For Born And Raised Wild Places

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.”

Wells Running Violence Materials Source Corruption Journalist Novelists Dry Floating Bizarre Bonus Depravity True Life

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.”

Stills Opinion Fishes Shooting Rotten Columns Barrels Miami

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very similar, the smartass attitude, the environmental battles. Kids love books that are irreverent and challenge authority, when authority is arbitrary, greedy or foolish. They also love it when you make fun of grownups, and I've spent my whole life as a writer doing that.”

“Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.”

People Ifs Jesus Hours Limits Hundred Twenties Speed Miles Pilots Bumper Sticker Speed Limits

Book:Strip Tease

Source: Strip Tease

“Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.”

Men Wise Jimmy Paychecks

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.”

Knows Way Said Right Now Yeah Pairs Toys Cop Collecting Tots

Book:Skin Tight

Source: Skin Tight

“Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.”

Matter States Government Law Choices Libertarian Seats Belts Ardent Meddling Personal Choice Seat Belts

Book:Nature Girl

Source: Nature Girl

“As a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took.”

Way Long Government Games Differences Party Issues Team Republican Democrat Track Favors Smoke Labels Controlled Long Ago Hanging On Lobbyists Dough Vaudeville

Book:Sick Puppy

Source: Sick Puppy

“Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.”

Said Important Sometimes Fighting Father Lines Fine Stupidity Remembered Fine Lines

Book:Carl Hiaasen Collection: Hoot, Flush, Scat, Chomp

Source: Carl Hiaasen Collection: Hoot, Flush, Scat, Chomp

“Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment.”

Looks Heart Different Ends Sometimes Left Sides Lines Brain Situation Clear One Thing Judgment Both Sides Hoot

Book:Hoot

Source: Hoot

“Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.”

Tree Palms Mickey Palm Trees Iguanas

Author:Carl Hiaasen

“Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.”

Tree Stupid Sitting Mark Thunderstorm

Book:Chomp

Source: Chomp

About the Author

Born: March 12, 1953
Known for: Journalist
Quotes: 83

Related Topics

Book Ifs Writing Novel Florida Character Real Sometimes States Way

Popular Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

Books & Sources

Carl Hiaasen Collection: Hoot, Flush, Scat, ChompRelated source material

HootRelated source material

ChompRelated source material

Nature GirlRelated source material

Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected ColumnsRelated source material

ScatRelated source material

Sick PuppyRelated source material

Skin TightRelated source material

Strip TeaseRelated source material

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