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Famous Don Rickles Quotes
“I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.”
“If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.”
“I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.”
“Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.”
“Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.”
“Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.”
“You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.”
“I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.”
“Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.”
“When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.”
“Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.”
“Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.”
“The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.”
“I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.”