Quotessence
Home / Authors / Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard Quotes

Comedian

Filter quotes by topic

AllIfsPeopleComedyThinkingFunnyWellsWorldBitsTryingKnowsI CanTransvestitesBelieveGirlWantComedianFirstsHelpingHumansKids

Famous Eddie Izzard Quotes

“My dad said, "As long as you're happy." I used to think it was kind of a very simple idea or philosophy because he wasn't religious. But you've got to try and be happy. And if you're not happy, you can't help anyone else. So obviously, some crazy people could go to places, but I just think you need to be content within yourself, so that's the thing.”

PeopleIfsThinkingNeedsTryingKindLongSaidIdeasPhilosophyHelpingUsedReligiousSimpleCrazyDadMy DadNot HappyCrazy PeopleSimple Ideas
Author:Eddie Izzard
Create image

“Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because... it's true! 'Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.”

PeopleIfsThinkingMenLittlesGirlCausesBitsGayLittle BitAgreeYeahMalesSexualitySeparationQueensFancyCoveredDragGay MenDrag QueenTransvestites
Author:Eddie Izzard
Create image

“Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no! So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it?”

ThinkingKnowsWellsIdeasKidsGuyJesusCausesInterestingColorTypeAreasCrossesWoodsEggsChocolateRelaxedNelsonInteresting IdeasGroovyChocolate Eggs
Author:Eddie Izzard
Create image

“But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!" "Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.”

PeopleIfsThinkingWorldWayHumansWellsDifferentWarFunnyHuman BeingsDogCrimeColorJudgingSorryGenocideCreedsJudge MeBiscuits
Author:Eddie Izzard
Create image

“The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.”

ThinkingKnowsMenWantActorsStarsBitsDoorsBritishOpeningTeaDamnRebelFlagsCunningLieutenantsDeath StarOpening Doors
Author:Eddie Izzard
Create image