“When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable.” MenWorldMoralBoysDevelopmentGuiltMalesNoiseUncomfortablePullingMasculineManlyMystiqueMoral Development Author:Frank Pittman
“Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.” MenFeelsHumanityFatherCan DoBecomingMasculinityMasculineProvidersFathering Author:Frank Pittman
“Masculinity varies from time to time and place to place. But it doesn't exist just in the mind of a single guy: it is shared withthe other guys. It is a code of conduct that requires men to maintain masculine postures and attitudes (however they are defined) at all times and in all places. Masculinity includes the symbols, uniforms, chants, and plays that make this the boys' team rather than the girls' team.” MenMindPlayGuyGirlAttitudeBoysTeamAll TimeSymbolsDefinedCodeUniformsMasculinityMasculineVaryOther GuysPostureSingle Guy Author:Frank Pittman
“Our father has an even more important function than modeling manhood for us. He is also the authority to let us relax the requirements of the masculine model: if our father accepts us, then that declares us masculine enough to join the company of men. We, in effect, have our diploma in masculinity and can go on to develop other skills.” IfsMenImportantEnoughFatherCompanyAcceptingEffectsGoes OnSkillsAuthorityModelsFunctionRelaxRequirementsManhoodMasculinityMasculineModelingOur FatherDiploma Author:Frank Pittman
“We long for our father. We wear his clothes, and actually try to fill his shoes. . . . We hang on to him, begging him to teach ushow to do whatever is masculine, to throw balls or be in the woods or go see where he works. . . . We want our fathers to protect us from coming too completely under the control of our mothers. . . . We want to be seen with Dad, hanging out with men and doing men things.” MenWantTryingLongMotherFatherTeachDadProtectClothesBallsShoesWoodsHanging OutMasculineOur FatherBeggingDoing Me Author:Frank Pittman
“As a guy develops and practices his masculinity, he is accompanied by an invisible male chorus of all the other guys, who hiss orcheer as he attempts to approximate the masculine ideal, who push him to sacrifice more of his humanity for the sake of his masculinity, and who ridicule him when he holds back. The chorus is made up of all the guy's comrades and rivals, his buddies and bosses, his male ancestors and his male cultural heroes--and above all, his father, who may have been a real person in his life, or may have existed only as the myth of the man who got away.” MenMayPersonsHas BeensMadeRealGuyHumanityFatherPracticeSacrificeHe ManHeroIdealsMalesSakeMythInvisibleBossAncestorMasculinityRidiculeMasculineRivalsBuddyOther GuysComradeChorusReal Person Author:Frank Pittman
“What we men share is the experience of having been raised by women in a culture that stopped our fathers from being close enough to teach us how to be men, in a world in which men were discouraged from talking about our masculinity and questioning its roots and its mystique, in a world that glorified masculinity and gave us impossibly unachievable myths of masculine heroics, but no domestic models to teach us how to do it.” MenWorldEnoughCultureFatherTalkingTeachShareModelsRootsRaisedMythQuestioningMasculinityMasculineDiscouragedBe A ManOur FatherMystique Author:Frank Pittman
“At the heart of the matter of masculine excess is a great longing for the love and approval of a father, a man who can tell another man that his masculinity is splendid enough and he can now relax.” MenHeartMatterEnoughFatherLongingRelaxExcessApprovalMasculinityMasculineSplendidAnother Man Author:Frank Pittman
“Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.” MenFatherCan DoDaddyMasculineFathering Author:Frank Pittman
