“When the masculine mystique is pulling boys and men out into the world to growl manly noises at one another, the only power with astronger pull on the male psyche is maternally induced guilt. The guilt is quite necessary for our moral development, but it is often uncomfortable.” MenWorldMoralBoysDevelopmentGuiltMalesNoiseUncomfortablePullingMasculineManlyMystiqueMoral Development Author:Frank Pittman
“Every boy was supposed to come into the world equipped with a father whose prime function was to be our father and show us how tobe men. He can escape us, but we can never escape him. Present or absent, dead or alive, real or imagined, our father is the main man in our masculinity.” MenWorldRealShowsFatherBoysAliveFunctionPrimeMasculinityAbsentOur Father Author:Frank Pittman
“However patriarchal the world, at home the child knows that his mother is the source of all power. The hand that rocks the cradlerules his world. . . . The son never forgets that he owes his life to his mother, not just the creation of it but the maintenance of it, and that he owes her a debt he cannot conceivably repay, but which she may call in at any time.” KnowsWorldMayChildrenHomeHandsMotherForgetRocksCreationSonSourceDebtNever ForgetMaintenance Author:Frank Pittman
“All those tough guys who want to scare the world into seeing them as men . . . who don't know how to be a man with a woman, only abrute or a boy, who fill up the divorce courts; all those corporate raiders and rain-forest burners and war starters who want more in hopes that will make them feel better; . . . are suffering from Father Hunger. They go through their puberty rituals day after day for a lifetime, waiting for a father to anoint them and say "Attaboy," to treat them as good enough to be considered a man.” KnowsMenWorldWantFeelsWarEnoughGuySufferingFatherWaitingBoysKnow HowSeeingToughRainTreatsCourtLifetimeHungerDivorceForestsCorporateGood EnoughRitualScareFeel BetterFatherhoodBe A ManPubertyStartersTough GuyRaiders Author:Frank Pittman
“The men who are messing up their lives, their families, and their world in their quest to feel man enough are not exercising truemasculinity, but a grotesque exaggeration of what they think a man is. When we see men overdoing their masculinity, we can assume that they haven't been raised by men, that they have taken cultural stereotypes literally, and that they are scared they aren't being manly enough.” ThinkingMenWorldFeelsEnoughTakenHavensHe ManExerciseAssumingRaisedScaredQuestsStereotypeMasculinityExaggerationManlyGrotesqueMessing Up Author:Frank Pittman
“At the heart of male bonding is this experience of boys in early puberty: they know they must break free from their mothers and the civilized world of women, but they are not ready yet for the world of men, so they are only at home with other boys, equally outcast, equally frightened, and equally involved in posturing what they believe to be manhood.” KnowsMenWorldBelieveHeartHomeMotherBoysBreakReadyInvolvedMalesCivilizedFrightenedManhoodNot ReadyOutcastBondingPuberty Author:Frank Pittman
“What we men share is the experience of having been raised by women in a culture that stopped our fathers from being close enough to teach us how to be men, in a world in which men were discouraged from talking about our masculinity and questioning its roots and its mystique, in a world that glorified masculinity and gave us impossibly unachievable myths of masculine heroics, but no domestic models to teach us how to do it.” MenWorldEnoughCultureFatherTalkingTeachShareModelsRootsRaisedMythQuestioningMasculinityMasculineDiscouragedBe A ManOur FatherMystique Author:Frank Pittman
“Fathering makes a man, whatever his standing in the eyes of the world, feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.” MenWorldFeelsChildrenImportantEyeStrongStrengthStandingFathering Author:Frank Pittman
