“The problem is simply this: no one can feel like CEO of his or her life in the presence of the people who toilet trained her and spanked him when he was naughty. We may have become Masters of the Universe, accustomed to giving life and taking it away, casually ordering people into battle or out of their jobs . . . and yet we may still dirty our diapers at the sound of our mommy's whimper or our daddy's growl.” PeopleGivingFeelsMayStillsProblemJobsUniverseSoundMastersBattleDirtyCeoDaddyAccustomedToiletsNaughtyDiapers Author:Frank Pittman
“Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.” MenFeelsHumanityFatherCan DoBecomingMasculinityMasculineProvidersFathering Author:Frank Pittman
“Our ability to fall in love requires enough comfort with our masculinity to join it with someone's femininity and feel enhanced. .. . If our mother made us feel secure and proud in our masculinity, then we want to find that again in our wife. If we are really comfortable with our mother, we can even marry a woman who is a friend rather than an adversary, and form a true partnership.” IfsWantFeelsMadeEnoughFormMotherFallAbilityWifeProudComfortComfortableFalling In LoveSecurePartnershipMasculinityFemininityAdversaries Author:Frank Pittman
“Family life in Western society since the time of the Old Testament has been a struggle to maintain patriarchy, male domination, and double standards in the face of a natural drift towards monogamous bonding. Young men have been called upon to prove their masculinity by their willingness to die in warfare, and young women have been called upon to prove their femininity by their willingness to die for their man. Women have been asked to appear small, dumb, and helpless so men would feel big and strong, brave, and clever. It's been a trick.” MenFeelsHas BeensBigsFacesYoungDiesStrongNaturalStruggleProveStandardsBraveWesternMalesCleverTricksDumbYoung ManWillingnessWarfareHelplessYoung WomenPatriarchyTestamentMasculinityDominationFemininityFamily LifeOld TestamentBondingDouble StandardWestern Society Author:Frank Pittman
“Mothers who are strong people, who can pursue a life of their own when it is time to let their children go, empower their childrenof either gender to feel free and whole. But weak women, women who feel and act like victims of something or other, may make their children feel responsible for taking care of them, and they can carry their children down with them.” PeopleFeelsMayChildrenWholeCareMotherStrongWeakResponsibleVictimGenderPursueEmpoweringMen WomenStrong PeopleWeak Women Author:Frank Pittman
“A real man doesn't have to run from his mother, and may even have to face the reality that no great deed is going to be great enough for him to ransom himself completely, and he may always be in his mother's debt. If he understands that . . . he won't have to feel guilty, and he won't have to please her completely. He can go ahead and be nice to her and let her be part of his life.” IfsMenFeelsMayRealEnoughRealityRunningFacesMotherNicePleaseDeedsDebtGuiltyBeing NiceReal MenRansom Author:Frank Pittman
“All those tough guys who want to scare the world into seeing them as men . . . who don't know how to be a man with a woman, only abrute or a boy, who fill up the divorce courts; all those corporate raiders and rain-forest burners and war starters who want more in hopes that will make them feel better; . . . are suffering from Father Hunger. They go through their puberty rituals day after day for a lifetime, waiting for a father to anoint them and say "Attaboy," to treat them as good enough to be considered a man.” KnowsMenWorldWantFeelsWarEnoughGuySufferingFatherWaitingBoysKnow HowSeeingToughRainTreatsCourtLifetimeHungerDivorceForestsCorporateGood EnoughRitualScareFeel BetterFatherhoodBe A ManPubertyStartersTough GuyRaiders Author:Frank Pittman
“The men who are messing up their lives, their families, and their world in their quest to feel man enough are not exercising truemasculinity, but a grotesque exaggeration of what they think a man is. When we see men overdoing their masculinity, we can assume that they haven't been raised by men, that they have taken cultural stereotypes literally, and that they are scared they aren't being manly enough.” ThinkingMenWorldFeelsEnoughTakenHavensHe ManExerciseAssumingRaisedScaredQuestsStereotypeMasculinityExaggerationManlyGrotesqueMessing Up Author:Frank Pittman
“Infidelity flows from a belief that women have the power to make you feel like a man if you only find a woman that thinks you're perfect; if you can only find a woman that you haven't hurt or disappointed yet.” IfsThinkingMenFeelsBeliefHurtPerfectMarriageHavensFlowDisappointedInfidelity Author:Frank Pittman
“Love is not something people feel, but something people try to express no matter how they feel.” PeopleFeelsTryingMatterLove IsMarriage Author:Frank Pittman
“Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don't want to hurt one another's feelings, and they don't try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another.” PeopleWantFeelsTryingKindPlayFeelingsBigsHurtCommonRolesRelationshipMarriedPoliteCourtesyHumiliatedHappy MarriagePositive MarriageCommon Courtesy Author:Frank Pittman
“Fathering makes a man, whatever his standing in the eyes of the world, feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.” MenWorldFeelsChildrenImportantEyeStrongStrengthStandingFathering Author:Frank Pittman
“Men who have been raised violently have every reason to believe it is appropriate for them to control others through violence; they feel no compunction over being violent to women, children, and one another.” MenFeelsBelieveChildrenHas BeensReasonViolenceRaisedViolentAppropriateCompunction Author:Frank Pittman
