“Mother love has been much maligned. An over mothered boy may go through life expecting each new woman to love him the way his mother did. Her love may make any other love seem inadequate. But an unloved boy would be even more likely to idealize love. I don't think it's possible for a mother or father to love a child too much.” ThinkingWayMayChildrenHas BeensSeemsWould BeMotherFatherFamilyBoysToo MuchExpectingInadequateMother LoveUnloved Author:Frank Pittman
“Parents offer an open womb. More than anyone else in your life, mothers, and sometimes fathers, can kiss it, and make it well whentheir grown children need to regress and repair. More than anyone else in your life, mothers, and sometimes fathers, can catch you when you start to fall. When you are in disgrace, defeat, and despair, home may be the safest place to hide.” NeedsWellsMayChildrenSometimesHomeMotherFallFatherParentOffersKissingDespairDefeatWombDisgraceGrown Children Author:Frank Pittman
“We never really are the adults we pretend to be. We wear the mask and perhaps the clothes and posture of grown-ups, but inside ourskin we are never as wise or as sure or as strong as we want to convince ourselves and others we are. We may fool all the rest of the people all of the time, but we never fool our parents. They can see behind the mask of adulthood. To her mommy and daddy, the empress never has on any clothes--and knows it.” PeopleKnowsWantMayStrongParentBehindsGrowing UpWiseFoolClothesAdultsConvinceMaskAdulthoodDaddyPostureEmpressesMommy And Daddy Author:Frank Pittman
“The child who would be an adult must give up any lingering childlike sense of parental power, either the magical ability to solveyour problems for you or the dreaded ability to make you turn back into a child. When you are no longer hiding from your parents, or clinging to them, and can accept them as fellow human beings, then they may do the same for you.” GivingHumansMayChildrenProblemWould BeTurnsParentHuman BeingsAbilityAcceptingGrowing UpGiving UpAdultsFellowsHidingClingingChildlikeParentalLingering Author:Frank Pittman
“The problem is simply this: no one can feel like CEO of his or her life in the presence of the people who toilet trained her and spanked him when he was naughty. We may have become Masters of the Universe, accustomed to giving life and taking it away, casually ordering people into battle or out of their jobs . . . and yet we may still dirty our diapers at the sound of our mommy's whimper or our daddy's growl.” PeopleGivingFeelsMayStillsProblemJobsUniverseSoundMastersBattleDirtyCeoDaddyAccustomedToiletsNaughtyDiapers Author:Frank Pittman
“Fathers who compete hard with their kids are monstrous. The father, for a throw-away victory, is sacrificing the very heart of hischild's sense of being good enough. He may believe he is making his son tough, as he was made tough by a similarly contending father, but he is only making his child desperate and mean like himself. Fathers must let their sons (and daughters) have their victories.” BelieveHeartMayMeanChildrenMadeHardEnoughKidsFatherSacrificeSonVictoryDaughterToughBe GoodDesperateGood EnoughMonstrousSon And DaughterContendingBeing Good Enough Author:Frank Pittman
“Mothers who are strong people, who can pursue a life of their own when it is time to let their children go, empower their childrenof either gender to feel free and whole. But weak women, women who feel and act like victims of something or other, may make their children feel responsible for taking care of them, and they can carry their children down with them.” PeopleFeelsMayChildrenWholeCareMotherStrongWeakResponsibleVictimGenderPursueEmpoweringMen WomenStrong PeopleWeak Women Author:Frank Pittman
“However patriarchal the world, at home the child knows that his mother is the source of all power. The hand that rocks the cradlerules his world. . . . The son never forgets that he owes his life to his mother, not just the creation of it but the maintenance of it, and that he owes her a debt he cannot conceivably repay, but which she may call in at any time.” KnowsWorldMayChildrenHomeHandsMotherForgetRocksCreationSonSourceDebtNever ForgetMaintenance Author:Frank Pittman
“A real man doesn't have to run from his mother, and may even have to face the reality that no great deed is going to be great enough for him to ransom himself completely, and he may always be in his mother's debt. If he understands that . . . he won't have to feel guilty, and he won't have to please her completely. He can go ahead and be nice to her and let her be part of his life.” IfsMenFeelsMayRealEnoughRealityRunningFacesMotherNicePleaseDeedsDebtGuiltyBeing NiceReal MenRansom Author:Frank Pittman
“The great passion in a man's life may not be for women or men or wealth or toys or fame, or even for his children, but for his masculinity, and at any point in his life he may be tempted to throw over the things for which he regularly lays down his life for the sake of that masculinity. He may keep this passion secret from women, and he may even deny it to himself, but the other boys know it about themselves and the wiser ones know it about the rest of us as well.” KnowsMenWellsMayChildrenPassionWealthSecretBoysFameLaysSakeDenyToysWiserMasculinityTemptedGreat Passion Author:Frank Pittman
“As a guy develops and practices his masculinity, he is accompanied by an invisible male chorus of all the other guys, who hiss orcheer as he attempts to approximate the masculine ideal, who push him to sacrifice more of his humanity for the sake of his masculinity, and who ridicule him when he holds back. The chorus is made up of all the guy's comrades and rivals, his buddies and bosses, his male ancestors and his male cultural heroes--and above all, his father, who may have been a real person in his life, or may have existed only as the myth of the man who got away.” MenMayPersonsHas BeensMadeRealGuyHumanityFatherPracticeSacrificeHe ManHeroIdealsMalesSakeMythInvisibleBossAncestorMasculinityRidiculeMasculineRivalsBuddyOther GuysComradeChorusReal Person Author:Frank Pittman
