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Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld, born on April 29, 1954, is a renowned American comedian, screenwriter, and producer. Known for his unique humor style and witty dialogue, he is best known for his sitcom 'Seinfeld'. Seinfeld's deep insights into everyday life and unique perspectives on human relationships have won him the affection of audiences worldwide.

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Famous Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

“The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.”

Whole Comedy Objects Being Yourself

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Who the hell is this guy? "Clear out, everybody. I'm working with pills up here. I'm taking them from this big bottle and then I'm gonna put them in the little bottle. That's my whole job. I can't be down on the floor with you people."”

People Littles Doe I Can Two Whole Bigs Funny Jobs Guy Half Hell Clear Comedy Feet Higher Bottles This Guy Pills Pharmacist

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“I've been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It's just something I'm very aware of.”

Years Whole Crazy Car Whole Life Nine Nine Years

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"”

Doe Whole Doors Rain Ruins Cows Ruined Jackets Leather Moisture Leather Jackets

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened.”

People Want Trying States Whole Body Bigs Form Used Names United United States Happened Crime Like You Concerned Stones Thick Ashes Cover Ups Burial Granite Chisels Cremation

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“I had a parakeet that used to fly around the house and crash into these huge mirrors my mother put in. Ever heard of this interior design principle, that a mirror makes it seem like you have an entire other room? What kind of jerk walks up to a mirror and goes, Hey look, there's a whole other room in there. There's a guy that looks just like me in there.”

Looks Kind Whole Seems Used Mother Guy House Walks Rooms Principles Heard Design Huge Like You Mirrors Like Me Hey Crash Interiors Jerk Interior Design Parakeets

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”

“When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it.”

Doe Whole Environment Tasks Affected

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“It's like having... you know, your phone has a charger, right? It's like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That's what Transcendental Meditation is!”

Knows Mind Whole Body Meditation Phones Mind And Body Transcendental Transcendental Meditation

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“You know how your charger for your phone? It's like if you had a charger for your whole body and mind”

Ifs Knows Mind Whole Body Know How Phones Mind And Body

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”

Whole Funny Life Is Fun Comedy Ice Cream Ice Cream Jewelry Massage Whole Family Dysfunctional Family Parlor Life Is Fun

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

“There is no such thing as an attention span. There is only the quality of what you are viewing. This whole idea of an attention span is, I think, a misnomer. People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them.”

People Ifs Thinking Ideas Whole Attention Quality Infinite Entertaining Attention Span

Author:Jerry Seinfeld

About the Author

Born: April 29, 1954
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 294

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