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Karen Horney

Karen Horney Biography

Psychoanalyst

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“The neurotic, as long as he must adhere to his illusions about himself, cannot recognize limitations, the search for glory goes into the unlimited. Because the main goal is the attainment of glory, he becomes uninterested in the process of learning, of doing, or of gaining step by step — indeed, tends to scorn it. He does not want to climb a mountain; he wants to be on the peak. Hence he loses the sense of what evolution or growth means, even though he may talk about it. Because, finally, the creation of the idealized self is possible only at the expense of truth about himself, its actualization requires further distortions of truth, imagination being a willing servant to this end. Thereby, to a greater or lesser extent, he loses in the process his interest in truth, and the sense for what is true or not true — a loss that, among others, accounts for his difficulty in distinguishing between genuine feelings, beliefs, strivings, and their artificial equivalents (unconscious pretenses) in himself and in others. The emphasis shifts from being to appearing.”

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Book:Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
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“[Neurotic] pride is both so vulnerable and so precious that it also must be protected in the future. The neurotic may build an elaborate system of avoidances in the hope of circumventing future hurts. This too is a process that goes on automatically. He is not aware of wanting to avoid an activity because it might hurt his pride. He just avoids it, often without even being aware that he is. The process pertains to activities, to associations with people, and it may put a check on realistic strivings and efforts. If it is widespread it can actually cripple a person's life. He does not embark on any serious pursuits commensurate with his gifts lest he fail to be a brilliant success. He would like to write or to paint and does not dare to start. He does not dare to approach girls lest they reject him. [...] He withdraws from social contacts lest he be self-conscious. So, according to his economic status, he either does nothing worthwhile or sticks to a mediocre job and restricts his expenses rigidly. In more than one way he lives beneath his means. In the long run this makes it necessary for him to withdraw farther from others, because he cannot face the fact of lagging behind his age group and therefore shuns comparisons or questions from anybody about his work. In order to endure life he must now entrench himself more firmly in his private fantasy-world. But, since all these measures are more a camouflage than a remedy for his pride, he may start to cultivate his neuroses because the neurosis with a capital N then becomes a precious alibi for the lack of accomplishment.”

PrideNeurosisInertiaWounded PrideSelf Defeating
Book:Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
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“Also the natural sexual functions of establishing an intimate human contact frequently assume greater proportions. This is a well known fact about detached people for whom sexuality may be the only bridge to others, but it is not restricted to being an obvious substitute for human closeness. It shows also in the haste with which people may rush into sexual relations, without giving themselves a chance to find out whether they have anything in common or a chance to develop a liking and understanding. It is possible of course that an emotional relatedness may evolve later on. But more often than not it does not do so because usually the initial rush itself is a sign of their being too inhibited to develop a good human relationship.”

LoveSexRelationshipsRelationshipDetachmentNeuroticNeurosisFools Rush In
Book:Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
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“The declining of responsibility for the self can also be hidden behind a pseudo-objectivity. A patient may make astute observations about himself and give a fairly accurate report of what he dislikes in himself. On the surface it seems as though he is perceptive and honest about himself. But "he" may be merely the intelligent observer of a fellow who is inhibited, fearful, or arrogantly demanding. Hence, since he is not responsible for the fellow he observes, the hurt to his pride is cushioned—all the moreso because the flashlight of his pride is focused on his faculty for keen observations.”

ResponsibilityPsychologyPrideIntelligenceNeuroticPsychoanalysisNeurosis
Book:Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
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“the idea of a finished human product not only appears presumptuous but even, in my opinion, lacks any strong appeal. Life is struggle and striving, development and growth - and analysis is one of the means that can help in this process. Certainly its positive accomplishments are important, but also the striving itself is of intrinsic value.”

HumansMeanImportantIdeasHelpingLife IsValuesStrongProcessGrowthOpinionStruggleProductsDevelopmentStriveFinishedAppealsAnalysisAccomplishmentPsychiatryPresumptuousIntrinsic ValueLife Is A StruggleDevelopment And Growth
Book:Self-Analysis
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“Through the eclipse of large areas of the self, by repression and inhibition as well as by idealization and externalization, the individual loses sight of himself; he feels, if he does not actually become, like a shadow without weight and substance.”

IfsFeelsWellsDoeSelfIndividualLosesShadowAreasWeightSightSubstanceRepressionEclipseInhibitions
Book:Our Inner Conflicts: A CONSTRUCTIVE THEORY OF NEUROSIS
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“To experience conflicts knowingly, though it may be distressing, can be an invaluable asset. The more we face our own conflicts and seek out our own solutions, the more inner freedom and strength we will gain. Only when we are willing to bear the brunt can we approximate the ideal of being the captain of our ship. Spurious tranquillity rooted in inner dullness is anything but enviable. It is bound to make us weak and an easy prey to any kind of influence.”

KindMayFacesEasyInfluenceWillingBearsConflictSolutionsGainsIdealsWeakBoundsShipsAssetsRootedCaptainsPreyInvaluableDullnessTranquillityDistressing
Book:Our Inner Conflicts: A CONSTRUCTIVE THEORY OF NEUROSIS
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“The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense, to be emotionally sincere, to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings, one's work, one's beliefs.”

InspirationalSelfWholeFeelingsAbleBeliefGoalStriveOneselfSincereComprehensivePretenseTherapeuticWholeheartedness
Book:Our Inner Conflicts: A CONSTRUCTIVE THEORY OF NEUROSIS
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“Basic anxiety can be roughly described as a feeling of being small, insignificant, helpless, deserted or endangered in a world that is out to abuse, cheat, humiliate, betray, envy... . And special in this is the child's feeling that the parents' love, their Christian charity, honesty, generosity ... may be only a pretense.”

WorldMayChildrenFeelingsChristianParentSpecialHonestyAnxietyAbuseCharityEnvyGenerosityBetrayHelplessCheatInsignificantPretenseDesertedHumiliateParents Love
Author:Karen Horney
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