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Louis C. K.

Louis C. K. Quotes

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Famous Louis C. K. Quotes

“Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should be your goal to love every human you encounter. All human suffering that you're aware of and continues without your effort to stop it becomes your crime.”

WayLoveInspirationalGivingShouldHumansSufferingGoalEffortKindnessAwarenessCrimeRewardsEncountersExpectingContinuingAbsolutely NothingHuman SufferingExpect NothingHuman KindnessGive 100 Percent
Author:Louis C. K.
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“My 13-year-old daughter leaves the house at 7:15 every morning and takes a smelly city bus to school way uptown. It's like 8 degrees out, and it's dark and she's got this morning face and I send her out there to take a bus. Meanwhile, my driver is sitting in a toasty Mercedes that's going to take me to work once both kids are gone. I could send her in the Mercedes and then have it come back to get me, but I can't have my kid doing that. I can't do that to her. Me? I earned that f—ing Mercedes. You better f—ing believe it.”

WayYearsBelieveI CanKidsSchoolFacesHouseDarkCitiesMorningGoneDegreesDaughterSittingDriversTake MeBusEvery MorningSmellyUptownCity Bus
Author:Louis C. K.
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“There's people that say “It's not fair You have all that stuff.” I wasn't born with it. It was a horrible process to get to this. It took me my whole life. If you're new at this- and by “new at it.” I mean 15 years in, or even 20- you're just starting to grow traction. Young musicians believe they should be able to throw a band together and be famous, and anything that's in their way is unfair and evil. What are you, in your 20s, you picked up a guitar? Give it a minute.”

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Author:Louis C. K.
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“I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."”

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Author:Louis C. K.
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“I've had two great years, probably five good years. So I had 20 years of just kind of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All these things. There's no way I'm ever going to catch up to the misery years. It's impossible... If I don't do anything dumb or I don't get a disease or something, and then I've got to five to eight years I think where it'll really be great and then it will start to degenerate like uranium, you know?”

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Author:Louis C. K.
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“[about being a father] I don't really remember what it was like before. Whatever I had going on, it was bullshit. It wasn't important. It's kind of a nice thing about being a dad. My identity is really about them now, and what I can do for them, so it sort of takes the pressure off of your own life. What am I going to do, who am I? Who cares, you've got to get your kids to school. So I like it that way.”

WayKindI CanImportantCareKidsSchoolRememberCan DoNiceIdentityDadPressureBullshitWho CaresNice ThingsBeing A DadGood Questions
Author:Louis C. K.
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“People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.”

PeopleWayInspirationalYearsDifferentEndsWholeHomeFunnyUsedDiesHoursWatchesFiveGroupsNew YorkBabyTravelSillyBunchFlightCaliforniaFunny TravelDelayToilets
Author:Louis C. K.
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“I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I'm not saying don't get married. If you meet somebody, fall in love and get married. Then get divorced. Because that's the best part. Divorce is forever! It really actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger like a piece of oak. Nobody ever says 'oh, my divorce is falling apart, it's over, I can't take it.'”

IfsWayYearsLongHas BeensI CanLastsFallLove IsForeverPiecesMarriedStrongerFalling In LoveDivorceFalling ApartDivorcedOaksHacks
Author:Louis C. K.
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“Race doesn't mean what it used to in America anymore. It just doesn't. Obama's black, but he's not black the way people used to define that. Is black your experience or the color of your skin? My experience is as a Mexican immigrant, more so than someone like George Lopez. He's from California. But he'll be treated as an immigrant. I am an outsider. My abuelita, my grandmother, didn't speak English. My whole family on my dad's side is in Mexico. I won't ever be called that or treated that way, but it was my experience.”

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Author:Louis C. K.
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“I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years. I spend whole days with people, I'm like, "I never would have hung out with you. I didn't choose you. Our children chose each other based on no criteria by the way. They're the same size. They don't care who they make me hang out with."”

PeopleThinkingWayYearsChildrenWholeCareUsedMillionsLaughingLike YouOur ChildrenSizeDon't CareChosenHanging OutHungEnd TimesChanging Your LifeSpend TimeCriteria
Author:Louis C. K.
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