Quotessence
Home / Authors / Louis C. K.
Louis C. K.

Louis C. K. Quotes

Comedian

Filter quotes by topic

AllPeopleThinkingKnowsLaughingIfsKidsComedyFunnyWayShowsYearsComedianStuffTwoFeelsWantWellsGuyI CanNeeds

Famous Louis C. K. Quotes

“My 13-year-old daughter leaves the house at 7:15 every morning and takes a smelly city bus to school way uptown. It's like 8 degrees out, and it's dark and she's got this morning face and I send her out there to take a bus. Meanwhile, my driver is sitting in a toasty Mercedes that's going to take me to work once both kids are gone. I could send her in the Mercedes and then have it come back to get me, but I can't have my kid doing that. I can't do that to her. Me? I earned that f—ing Mercedes. You better f—ing believe it.”

WayYearsBelieveI CanKidsSchoolFacesHouseDarkCitiesMorningGoneDegreesDaughterSittingDriversTake MeBusEvery MorningSmellyUptownCity Bus
Author:Louis C. K.
Create image

“My last name is Szekely. Sounds like Saykay. When I was a little kid I had an instructor in camp who called me Shnizneckely. He would make fun of my name and it hurt my feelings because I was a little pussy and I cried. He said, 'Well, how do you say it?' I said, Seekay. So he wrote 'C.K' on my jersey and everything. He made my name 'C.K' and I just stuck with it.”

WellsLittlesMadeSaidFeelingsKidsLastsNamesFunSoundHurtStuckCampsCriedIt HurtsLittle KidJerseyPussyInstructorsHurt My Feelings
Author:Louis C. K.
Create image

“[about being a father] I don't really remember what it was like before. Whatever I had going on, it was bullshit. It wasn't important. It's kind of a nice thing about being a dad. My identity is really about them now, and what I can do for them, so it sort of takes the pressure off of your own life. What am I going to do, who am I? Who cares, you've got to get your kids to school. So I like it that way.”

WayKindI CanImportantCareKidsSchoolRememberCan DoNiceIdentityDadPressureBullshitWho CaresNice ThingsBeing A DadGood Questions
Author:Louis C. K.
Create image

“I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school ... Technical high school, that's where dreams are narrowed down. We tell our children, "You can do anything you want." Their whole lives. "You can do anything!" But this place, we take kids - they're 15, they're young - and we tell them, "You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you."”

ThinkingWantChildrenWholeShowsDreamKidsSchoolYoungCan DoLaughingHigh SchoolOur ChildrenEightWhole LifeJerseyNew JerseyAuditoriums
Author:Louis C. K.
Create image