Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of Sa... A source page for quotes linked to Michael Benzehabe. 0 quotes
“I walk through our front door, give it a good slam, and wait for a reaction. All I get is a house full of indifference.” ParentsIndifferenceIsolationRebellionIgnore Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“The less he says, the colder the concrete floor gets. The cold refrigerated air brushes over my feet and curls up my ankles. The coldness turns my toes inward, and I rock uneasily. Fear makes your body do things you can’t control. In battle, soldiers experience fight-or-flight, and their blood retreats into their core, their torso, depleting the extremities—which includes the brain.” FearCourageShyConfrontationPredatorBenzehabeZonkedAdolescent Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“It embarrasses me to admit this, but on the first day of school, I sat on a bench, next to one of the new kids. I crossed my fingers, hoping he’d talk to me. Either he didn’t notice me or thought I wasn’t very popular. I’m not. So, maybe the word has gotten out.” FriendsLonelyAloneShyAlienationBenzehabeZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Iran--this strange and depressing place. This Ayatollah wasteland is where I gather with friends and watch their eyes scream, Let me out!” FriendsDepressingAyatollahEyes Scream Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Very good,” she lied. Zoe had learned not to burden loved ones with God’s unwanted children. She had come to America with her gigantic hopes, intending to save money and rescue the sisters who had once rescued her. She wasn’t trying to save the world--just them.” ImmigrationRescueSistersHopesHomesickImmigrantBenzehabeUnassimilated Author:Michael Benzehabe
“Teachers play their role in the plot, sifting me through the school’s proletarian worker-making machine. Each pass removes another thin layer of human soul, just enough to wear down my resistance.” SoulSchoolTeachersAngstStudentHomeschool Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“It’s been about a month since I stopped turning in homework. Life’s harder when you’re the only one who sees the actual gears of oppression at work—and I see no way out. Society has me in its machine. I’m half-charged, half-concerned, half-awake. Zonked.” SchoolSocietyOppressionHomeworkBenzehabeZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“This has been an afternoon of romantic omens, gentle on the heart, but why me? Love never happens to me. Everything else, but not love. Does Arnold play drums? Guess I never asked. I’ve been terribly insensitive this last year. I haven’t even checked to see if he has a TikTok account.” LoveRomanticInsensitiveOmenDrumsTiktok Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Three teen daughters, Sarah, Zoe, and me, holding our tongues, hoping Father will speak, say something comforting, tell us our love will see us through. Anything to end the silence.” SilenceMourningBroken FamilyMotherless Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“I worry about this new America. People can’t go around laughing all the time. Eventually, everyone will come around to that realization. Mom doesn’t get it. She says, if you frown too long on the outside, eventually you’ll grow a frown on the inside. How could this apply to me? And who cares?” AmericaFamilyMomDepressionLaughterSmileZonkedFrown Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Ahhh, John Clark—totally dope. I’m simmering with curiosity about their romance. I guess that’s what people without romance do . . . wonder. It all started with him. Now, I die a little more every day. Only a fellow shipwrecked lover could possibly understand.” LonelinessCuriosityDisappointmentCrushFirst LoveOutsider Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“She doesn’t shake hands.” Saul smiled at the reverend and shrugged. She had other odd behaviors. Saul never viewed her idiosyncrasies as a problem. Rather, he enjoyed her ongoing revelations. She was a piñata of surprises every time they went out. –Michael Benzehabe, from the novel Unassimilated” DatingHandshakeIdiosyncrasiesBenzehabeUnassimilated Author:Michael Benzehabe
“We have a peppy slogan over the front gate. We Focus on the Three R’s: Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships. Really? Then, why do I feel so empty?” LonelinessEmptinessOstracismAlienated Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“No.” The smile had left Sarah’s voice. “He still works for the Basij. Beware of weak men, little sister. He never returned to help, not even to express condolences for Father. Find a strong man. Get a man who will stand up for you, even if it means he has to fight the whole world. There is nothing more dangerous than a weak man.” MenCourageBad LoveBenzehabeFianceUnassimilatedWeak MenWasted LoveBroken Engagement Author:Michael Benzehabe
“Saul stared at his Whisky Sour. He hadn’t heard from Zoe in about a week. Maybe she had lost interest. All at once, the room was filled with people laughing, talking about how wonderful it was to be a couple. He was mildly amused at how disconcerting being alone felt. He had met Zoe about a month ago, when he helped her cross a busy boulevard. Yet, it seemed like he had known her for years. He stepped outside to call and leave another message.” AloneRejectionAlienationSingleZoeBenzehabeUnassimilatedLost InterestUnreturned CallsWhisky Sour Author:Michael Benzehabe
“Saul had gained his six-foot frame at sixteen, but his muscles didn’t arrive until his early twenties. Between those lost years, he was a gangly, uncoordinated klutz. He was told that he could improve his dancing by watching himself in the mirror. He tried. What he saw was so repulsive that he resolved never to inflict himself on a dance partner. These days, Saul hid those memories behind weight lifting and jogging. His new athletic physique hid his aimless decade as an outsider, an odd and lonely kid--as he remembered it.” SadLonelyDancingPubertyOutsiderBenzehabeUnassimilatedWeight LiftingDance Partner Author:Michael Benzehabe
“You have a famous relative. Family tradition has it we descend from St. Nicholas.” “Santa Claus? I thought he was make-believe.” “He is, but the person Santa Claus is based on is real. St. Nicholas of Myra was a fourth-century bishop—and a fine human being. He served in Turkey.” FamilyChristmasChristian LifePaganAncestrySanta ClausSt Nicholas Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Parents are always the obstacle. You would think, after millions of years, kids would have figured a way around them.” KidsFamilyEvolutionConflictParentsTeensZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“She closed the distance between them and gave him a tentative hug. He was liberally cologned, with a scent that incited bewildering memories. She circled him, not knowing why. She had only met him a few weeks back, yet tonight, something about him triggered old memories, of a time, a person. Maybe not. What she did know, he lacked that special ingredient that moved her. Dull as ditch water. He was sufficiently polite, but that was about all she could say. –Michael Benzehabe, from the novel Unassimilated” NovelNew AdultBenzehabeUnassimilatedClaremontBad Date Author:Michael Benzehabe
“Rocketing fears for Grandfather aside, the whole music puzzle starts to make sense. “It’s more than a flash mob,” I insist. “Ask Professor Walker, this is Grandfather’s exit song. It’s like his portal of departure.” But Mom’s not listening. She’s preoccupied, apparently puzzled by Dad’s astonishment. Why isn’t anyone listening to me?” MusicYaComing Of AgeGrandfatherPortalFlash Mob Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“It’s funny,” John says, “how piano keys are black and white, yet they play a thousand different colors.” “‘Cept there ain’t no piyana,” Captain Clark shushes. John’s face goes blank. “Really? I thought I heard one.” Captain Clark looks at me, almost apologetically. “He’s got Van Gogh’s ear fer music.” ArtMusicYoung AdultPianoVan GoghZonkedAnna WileyFlash Mob Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“This Ravel guy . . . it’s nice knowing there are composers out there who can put notes together that match the way I feel. If he wrote this after a stroke, then there’s hope for all us broken people. This must be an anthem for rejects. Music like this reminds us we’re not alone, that we can come out on the right side of heartbreak. Maybe that’s why more and more people are gathering around. I bet they’re broken too.” MusicBrokenComing Of AgeRejectRavelZonked Out Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Crape Myrtle trees line our streets. They awaken at the onset of Irans mid-day heat. They turn their leaves up, lifting their branches to give the azure Middle-Eastern sky an open-mouth kiss. Row after row blushes with red blossoms of ecstasy. Noshahr--where every hill has its own story, every valley its own poem, every girl her own heartache . . . that's for certain.” YaKissMafiNgLittle FiresAccidentals Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“I'm insane. I'll admit that. I have that awful condition: cleithrophobia. Father knew all of this, of course, but nowadays he never asks direct questions. I was determined to show him the world outside should be invited in--celebrated. I had every intention of doing the same thing tomorrow, and all nights thereafter, until he conceded, or, I made my escape to gay Paree.” FoundYaInsanePeculiarPersepolisGirlingUncaged Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Maybe he was honor-bound to lock us in, by some imagined duty? Perhaps this was an Islamic preparation to make us contended wives? Were these locks supposed to dampen useless dreams that sparked needless desires? Or, was he a mad man, sick and demented?” FatherYaDementedShoutMafiNg Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Some people have described Ava as religiously non-observant, but I think she's starved for love. She must have been deprived in her youth. That's why she acts out. Deep down, she didn't have a good opinion of herself. Not that she's perfect. I just think she could use a hug.” YaHugObservantPersepolisUncaged Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“The orphanage taught their girls religious ritual to the Nth degree, and how to make their own clothes. Giti mended uniforms for the soldiers and even sold a few prayer rugs in the marketplace. Self-sufficiency they called it. Ha!” YaOrphanageShoutWithout MeritZusak Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“After we sat, Ava glared sidelong at Giti. 'Sorry I slap you last week, but I did not think you would ever stop talking, and I had somewhere to go.' Then, with a quick toss of her head, 'Bad day.” FoundYaSlapUnbrokenAtlantiaSkink Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“I sized her up and got this sick feeling that she was about to ruin everything. Giti never missed an opportunity to show up her superiors. I stopped dead in my tracks and patted her down for a hidden prayer rug. No religious drama was too outrageous for her.” YaRitualOtherworldObsidioGenuine Fraud Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Although my words were temperate and well-expressed, they seemed to repulse Ava. My timing has never been precise. Ava regarded me the way a widow spider examines a housefly. She laughed loudly, a vulgar Occidental laugh, the laugh of a person who wraps their next meal in silk before draining their lifeblood. But, I have been known to imagine things.” YaOffbeatPersepolisMafiAccidentalsAlbertalli Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“A boorish laborer of some type emerged from a crowd of timid Coke-drinking men. He moved toward us with the wide menacing stance of a wrestler, black glistening hair, jutting like straight shards from beneath a Pashtun cap. Strong as an acre of garlic. He stared at me with an undignified glimmer in his eye that I wished wasn't there.” YaPersepolisOtherworldUncagedSkink Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Iran. Hot for certainties, but all us women get are rhymes. Always a metaphor; always a clever turn of phrase; always quoting poets without giving a direct answer. Give us definitive wedding dates. That's certainty! Those are the certainties we ache for--as certain as the sunlight that our sun-loving botany aches for.” YaOffbeatPersepolisCertaintiesAlbertalli Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Voices of village idiots roiled in a jester's stew of odds-making tomfoolery. Occasionally, a monkey screamed in the heat of competition, and crude words were freely spoken. The more sophisticated were forced to tolerate such low-minded displays.” YaNemesisGirlingRad Women Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“It's forbidden to bite a woman's arse. In the absence of a legal precedent, the Imams decided to apply human law to the guilty monkey, whoever it turned out to be. They narrowed it down to Bosco or Shin Bone. The victim was unable to distinguish one monkey from the other.” GuiltYaPeculiarNerveBuxbaum Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“This feminine billboard of Middle-Eastern fashion stopped me on the street last month. She ran her hand over the seam of my jilbab, admiring the color and fabric. She only said a few words. 'We are living in a gender-quake, a modern sexodus. We have a duty to project dis female revolution in da way we dress. Come visit me at the Monkey Bar and tell me who tailors your outfits.' She's been my fashion role model ever since.” AliveYaUnbrokenSoundlessJilbabSchlitz Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“Eviction day at the orphanage loomed large over Giti--and I worried deeply for her. 'Allah will provide,' I whispered. But Giti rolled her eyes, unconvinced.” YaShoutOtherworldZusakObsidioGirling Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“He moves me to madness. He's an indescribable poetic impression. He's Persian blood re-defined by Parisian culture, softened in the right places, yet, fierce where it counts. Dreamy. The kind of boy you can't get too close to, because you might get lost in his brown eyes and melancholy.” AliveYaOffbeatGirlingUncagedSkink Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“I owe your mother much more than money. I’m not trying to stop you from stealing from me, I’m trying to help you to stop stealing . . . from all stores, from your family, from yourself.” JusticeCrimeMercyStealingTheftBustedShopliftingZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Some girls would consider this an insult. Not me, because if you had any idea how close we used to be, you would know how sincere she is. I guess you could say she’s still my friend, but a friend I keep at arm’s length.” FriendshipSincereEnemiesPartingDisagreementArgumentsZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Zoe did what civilized people do when they freak out: she drank tea. She had walked from her little bungalow to Coffee & Tea. It was always filled with the well-educated, the complicated, the people who read books with captivating titles. A perfect place to ignore and be ignored. She found the anonymity delicious.” ReadingSolitudeTeaSpyAnonymityCyberBenzehabeUnassimilatedBen Zehabe Author:Michael Benzehabe
“I can’t do this anymore. Someday, novels will be written about all the sad ways we kids struggle to make teachers happy. There’s just no way to describe it. I guess adults will never understand . . . until they go through it.” KidsStruggleAdultsYoung AdultParentsComing Of AgeTeens Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“I’ve warned him about the dangers of smoking and second-hand smoke. He always looks off in the distance, as if giving my warnings serious thought, then returns to his paper. I reconcile it all by thinking of him as an incense burner. I do like the smell of pipe tobacco . . . may Al Gore forgive me.” DadComplainingParentsSmokingTeensIncenseAl Gore Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“Bosco's hand stabs forward, flicking his mostly-finished cigarette. It twirls through the air like a Molotov cocktail, barely missing me, but after striking the tin-clad door, sparks explode in all directions.” SparksCigarettePersianalityFlicking Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“All the neighborhood dogs can see right through me. They know. They aren’t even barking. Out of pity, I suppose. The Carlucci’s dog is the worst barker in the neighborhood, but not today. I walk up to his gate and give it a shake. No reaction. He sits on the porch staring at me, like I ain’t nothin’. I look around and find a stick. I throw it at him. Down deep, I really didn’t intend to hit him, but the stick bounces off his rump. I cringe and cover my mouth. “Sorry,” I say. The old dog just walks to his back yard, disgusted with the whole mess. “You don’t understand,” I yell after him. “I’m having a life crisis!” PsychologyDepressionGuiltTeensDogsSan DiegoLife CrisisSan MarcosAnna Wiley Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“In this unguarded instant, I realize how much I miss my childhood-big-brother, Uncle Solomon. I miss the comfortable merriment we once shared. His face is awash with a transitioning auburn from the setting sun. It is a handsome face, maybe the only pleasing face left in this wretched town . . . besides Armand's.” ChildhoodMissMerrimentPleasing Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“I’ve earned the right to steal a little makeup. Scientists have confirmed that humanity is highly suggestible. If I intend to escape the jaws of consumerism, I have some hard choices ahead. I won’t say that the Devil is behind this, but Gretchen goes to Catholic school, she says the Devil can show up anywhere, and we wouldn’t even recognize him. Last week Gretchen told me, watch carefully to see how one thing connects to another.” CrimeStealingComing Of AgeTeensExcusesTheftRationalizationShopliftingZonked Book:Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe Source: Zonked Out: The Teen Psychologist of San Marcos Who Killed Her Santa Claus and Found the Blue-Black Edge of the Love Universe
“It was clear Zoe had stars in her eyes, a little too enthusiastic about her new home--our home. I wasn't sure what manner of house she came from, but I was starting to hold her opinion suspect.” EnthusiasmSisterNew HomeAdopt Book:Persianality Source: Persianality
“People, like buildings, have facades. Tom created his. His walk was a feat. It had taken him twenty years of killing bad guys and a pair of Tony Lama boots to perfect the illusion. He made sure that everyone felt it by the third clunk of his boot heel. When he entered a crime scene there was a hush, and no one ever quite knew why they were holding their breath. But he did. A crime scene was theater and the stage was his.” ChinaRussiaIranNew AdultBenzehabeUnassimilatedCyber WarFib Author:Michael Benzehabe
“Dora Flores was one of the few people Tom confided in. She reported to him as Cyber Division’s Inner-Office Field Support. She still had a slight Mexican flavor in her pronunciations, and he liked it.” ChinaRussiaIranFbiHackingCyber SecurityBenzehabeUnassimilatedMossad Author:Michael Benzehabe
“The dean yanked the wrinkles from his suit vest. He adjusted his spectacles and, after a side-to-side waggle of the head, he tightened his bow tie. Placing both hands flat on his desk, he tipped forward, and radiated a practice glare--Superman style. Small wonder the visitor’s chair in front of him didn’t burst into flames.” GlareSupermanBenzehabeUnassimilatedRadiatedWaggle Author:Michael Benzehabe