“In some cultures they don't name their babies right away. They wait until they see how the child develops. Like in Dances with Wolves. Unfortunately, our kids' names would be less romantic and poetic. "This is my oldest boy, Falls off His Tricycle, his friend, Dribbles His Juice, and my beautiful daughter, Allergic to Nuts.” ChildrenWould BeKidsBeautifulFallCultureNamesWaitingBoysBabyDaughterPoeticNutsJuiceAllergicDribbleBeautiful DaughterTricycles Author:Paul Reiser
“Jerry Lewis played on the very first season of Mad About You, and he played basically himself, but he was called some other name. He said he's never done it; he'd never done a half-hour of [sitcom] television. This was 1992 or '93. And I said, "Well how is that?" And he goes, "Nobody ever asked me." It's like the pretty girl at the dance; everybody's too afraid to ask.” FirstsWellsSaidDoneGirlAsksNamesHoursHalfTelevisionSeasonsMadSitcomJerryHalf HoursPretty Girl Author:Paul Reiser
“We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.” StillsGirlNamesHalfBoysComedyWifeMiddleMy WifePushingRelievedContracting Author:Paul Reiser
“Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.” KindRealJobsNamesPresidentMiddleFineHonorVicesDistinctionVice PresidentReal Jobs Author:Paul Reiser
“Parents often give middle names just so that later, when they're yelling at the kid, they can drag it out. Henry David Thoreau, you come in here this instant!” GivingKidsNamesParentMiddleInstantDragYellingDavid Thoreau Author:Paul Reiser
“The simple combination of letters and sounds you select as a name for your baby can result in a life of carefree coolness or decades of expensive therapy. Hi, I'm Jake versus Hi, I'm... Tapioca” NamesSoundSimpleResultsBabyLettersDecadesCombinationTherapyExpensiveVersusSelectCarefreeJakeCoolness Author:Paul Reiser
“By shrewdly linking procreation to an act likely to make you stupid with excitement, God has seen to it that Life does indeed go on. It's possible, by the way, that this is why God's name comes up so often in the middle of the act; it's a salute to the author: Hey, whoever made this up - thanks.” WayDoeMadeNamesMiddleStupidGoes OnCome UpThanksHeyExcitementSaluteProcreation Author:Paul Reiser
