“In some cultures they don't name their babies right away. They wait until they see how the child develops. Like in Dances with Wolves. Unfortunately, our kids' names would be less romantic and poetic. "This is my oldest boy, Falls off His Tricycle, his friend, Dribbles His Juice, and my beautiful daughter, Allergic to Nuts.” ChildrenWould BeKidsBeautifulFallCultureNamesWaitingBoysBabyDaughterPoeticNutsJuiceAllergicDribbleBeautiful DaughterTricycles Author:Paul Reiser
“Our date-nightrule is no talking about the kids. That lasts about to the end of the driveway.” EndsKidsLastsTalkingDriveway Author:Paul Reiser
“Parents often give middle names just so that later, when they're yelling at the kid, they can drag it out. Henry David Thoreau, you come in here this instant!” GivingKidsNamesParentMiddleInstantDragYellingDavid Thoreau Author:Paul Reiser
“New parents always sound like hucksters in a pyramid scheme. Anyone who has kids and then gets you to go and have kids gets a check from Huckster Headquarters.” KidsParentSoundChecksSchemesPyramidsHeadquartersNew ParentsPyramid Schemes Book:Babyhood Source: Babyhood
“Younger kids, they understand that things aren't so perfect with their father or with their mother.” KidsMotherFatherPerfect Author:Paul Reiser
“I've come to realize that making it your life's work to be different than your parents is not only hard to do, it's a dumb idea. Not everything we found fault with was necessarily wrong; we were right, for example, to resent, as kids, being told when to go to bed. We'd be equally wrong, as parents, to let our kids stay up all night. To throw out all the tools of parenting just because our parents used them would be like making yourself speak English without using ten letters of the alphabet; it's hard to do.” IdeasDifferentHardWould BeKidsUsedNightFoundSpeakParentRealizingExampleBedTenToolsLettersFaultsDumbAll NightResentAlphabetSpeak EnglishUp All NightLetters Of The Alphabet Author:Paul Reiser
“The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.” IfsChildrenHumorKidsFunnyAmericaProductsBabyHumorousCrownsJewelsStrollers Author:Paul Reiser
“And in that time, I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like, OK, I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your parents differently” KnowsLooksKidsLostParentMy OwnComedyDadMy DadFatherhoodLost My Dad Author:Paul Reiser
