Quotessence
Home / Authors / Paul Reiser
Paul Reiser

Paul Reiser Quotes

Comedian

Filter quotes by topic

AllComedyBabyIfsPeopleChildrenThinkingKidsMy WifeWifeLooksNamesGuyKnowsMiddleParentPeterTwoWantWellsWould Be

Famous Paul Reiser Quotes

“When I'm writing for a book, it's much more reflective process. I have certain things that may not translate well to the stage, but, when they're on the page, people can really get into them. My first two books were aiming to be funnier, but the third was more about deep exploration. Things about being a parent and growing older that I thought would be perfect for a book.”

PeopleWritingFirstsWellsMayTwoBookWould BeCertainProcessParentPerfectGrowingStagePagesThirdsExplorationTranslateGrowing OldBeing A ParentGrowing Older
Author:Paul Reiser
Create image

“When people talk about wanting to have children someday, what they really mean is that they want babies. Nobody wants an angry adolescent. Nobody wants an obnoxious seven-year-old trying to wear out dirty words they just learned in school that day. What they really want is cute, adorable babies who love you and need you. The bad stuff is just the price you agree to pay for having the good stuff.”

PeopleWantNeedsTryingYearsMeanChildrenSchoolStuffPayLove YouBabyAgreeAngrySevenDirtyCuteSomedaySeven YearsNeed YouReally MeanAdorableObnoxiousDirty WordsBad Stuff
Author:Paul Reiser
Create image

“We all hold on to some image of the family we want, based one way or another on the family we had. Lots of people are thrilled about the families they came from, others couldn't get away fast enough. Most people fall into that vast middle ground: great affection mixed with a few ideas for improvement. A couple of things they wish could have perhaps been done differently.”

PeopleWayWantIdeasDoneEnoughFallWishMiddleCoupleAffectionImprovementOne WayGet AwayMiddle Ground
Author:Paul Reiser
Create image

“When you get busy, the priorities change. In your twenties, you hang out with who you were in school with. Then you grow up and you hang out with the people you're playing ball with, things you like doing with. When you get married, it changes a bit and you lose some friends, or you gain other friends. You gain couple-y friends. It changes again when you have children, and then when your children are the focus of your life.”

PeopleChildrenSchoolGrowing UpFocusMarriedOur ChildrenBusyPrioritiesYour ChildrenHanging Out
Author:Paul Reiser
Create image

“People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources-all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.”

PeopleChildrenLife IsAsksDifferencesSourceBabyCreatingHumorousParentingAsk MeDryBottlesFormulasWipeSpitDiapersMoistureBabyhoodSpit Up
Author:Paul Reiser
Create image