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Shellen Lubin Quotes

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Famous Shellen Lubin Quotes

“Living with contradiction may be nothing new to humans, but acknowledging it, and accepting it are. Even the dictionary has trouble accepting a paradox, calling it 'two things that seem to be contradictory but may possibly be true.' But that's not a real paradox--a real paradox IS contradictory and IS true. So I don't even call them paradoxes anymore, I call them 'contradictory co-existing realities,' both in direct opposition to each other, both true at the same time.”

“We are never anywhere but where we are even when much of that "where" is moving in some direction or other towards somewhere else. We cannot --right now-- know more than we know, have prepared or studied or rehearsed more than we actually did, be more beautiful or wiser or wittier or wealthier or healthier or stronger or better rested than we actually are. So go out and sing. Express your love laid bare and open. Be the fully imperfect glorious creature that you are. Dance in the rain.”

“I gave up on honoring Christopher Columbus long before the country did and have often espoused the questioning of the path trod by those we studied as the great explorers. What havoc they wreaked on the lands they explored. And who really did the exploring? The myth of the lone white man braving the new land is just that, a myth-- the local guides were the ones who knew the territory and did the work, including the work of keeping them all alive. And yet, indigenous populations explored as well, and some wreaked their own havoc on other populations at the same time that they grew worlds. History is incredibly complicated.”

“Maybe there are no endings and yet we feel things end (as we feel the ground beneath our feet and yet its solidity is, too, an illusion). Maybe there are no beginnings, as the inception of all is the energy source which has been vibrating for millions of years. Then how do we feel so deeply the power of beginnings and endings if they don't really exist? Contradictory co-existing realities. Not paradoxes. Yes, contradictory. Yes, both true. Yes, all at the same time. The complexity of existence.”

“Integrity, America. You lack integrity. The degree of distance between how we want to see ourselves and how we are is enormous. Integrity. Individually and as a people. We lack integrity. As an individual, I have long known that the only hope for integrity is not only the effort expended to live up to our word, but the willingness to own how and where we have not, and to hold ourselves accountable for the consequences of that.”

“Sixth grade, I remembermy best friend Wendy whose parents were fighting, harshly, loudly, and we sat on the curb outside so she wouldn't have to hear it, and she cried, believing her world was falling apart. I made up a kind-of game: to everything she would say, I would respond "Is that a fact or an opinion?" and she had to figure it out and say it outloud-- we played it for hours, ending up laughing but she also began to separate what was actually happening inside the house from her feelings about it and her fears. I feel like I'm still playing "Fact or Opinion" in my writing, in the world-- with family, friends, and, of course, myself. Wish I could play it with our governmental representatives, our institutions, our courts.”

“If the voices and perspectives we assess ourselves by are stuck in systems of their own they can be another trap. If they're stuck in their own agendas-- their needs and desires-- then they're another "wicked temptation" to sell out our deepest truths to please or pacify someone else. Which is why I advocate multiple mirrors, offering different ways of seeing, of feeling, of processing, angles and views we might otherwise miss, and reminding us to revere just how complex reality is.”

“Nothing is exactly the same for us all. And yet our lives are lived relationally, and so we must factor in others we love as we make plans, as we alter plans as we abandon plans. It's all so complicated, and in different periods different phases of our lives a different balance is required. There's no way to get it perfectly right. There's no one way that is absolutely perfect. If you measure them up against perfection, anything you do will be found wanting... Imagining, planning, doing, maintaining, re-assessing, altering. In the process of all, you carve out a self and the world in which that self resides.”

“I sit now, as I have before, with the question of balance, balance between hanging on (planning, setting goals and expectations) and letting go (complete presence, in the moment, no attachment to any one way). Do they have to be in contradiction? Yes. Can they be contradictory co-existing realities? Yes, yes, definitely. But only only only when we balance them through fullness, allowing them to co-exist, letting the plans and goals in deeply, but not clutching them for dear life, and allowing the results of the process to be what they are, as they continue to affect the plans and goals, and us... And so begin again again again hold on again let go again again again all at the same time.”

“It is a conundrum, this reality of which we speak. And if you do not find joy in the puzzle itself, you will only have isolated moments of stamped-and-approved joy ("I graduated!" "I got the job!" "I'm getting married!" "I won the prize!" "See, I have the picture!" "It's posted online!" "It got so many likes!") and those scrumptious, unexpected ones that take you by surprise-- a sunset, a leaf dancing in the wind, a baby's glee with a wayward bubble, fireworks. As I often say, I am ultimately drawn to-- and stay closest to-- the people who can be satisfied with a state of dissatisfaction, who can find joy in the puzzle itself, who want to play with the puzzle--gnaw on the conundrum--more than they want to finish it.”

“If we trust our assumptions more than reality we may fall right off the edge. One of the more horrifying things I know of is people driving off a highway in the dead of night into a chasm, a river, a ravine where the bridge has collapsed but the flares and barriers have not yet gone up... I shudder for the people who drive right off the cliff assuming a bridge that no longer exists, assuming the road goes on when it doesn't. Because how else can you drive? We must assume the road is there--the bridge is there-- as we drive forward into the unknown. But we must keep our eyes on the road as well.”