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Famous Shellen Lubin Quotes

“We artists know how to address transformation-- how to grow empathy, passion, and collectivity-- Spirituality knows how to address transformation-- but not with formal systems-- Systems breed safety-- follow this and you will be this, do this and you will do that, get here and you will get there. But empathy, passion, and collectivity grow from the recognition that we are not safe, that no one is safe, that our only hope is to care for ourselves and each other, and that we must each figure out our own way to do that.”

“I've written about persistence and perseverance and yet for those of us with patchwork lives (projects, earnings, caretaking, home-tending, playing, friending, loving, celebrating, hurting, grieving, healing, assessing, re-grouping) persistence and perseverance has to be allowed in patches, not what from the outside might be viewed as 'normal' (for whatever worth normal has, the top of that overused bell curve). So let me clarify. When I talk about persistence, it isn't about persistence of equal measure every day. It's about not giving up on whatever is important to you, and, especially, not giving up on yourself. Some chapters of your life may allow many facets of your being, others just cannot and the feeling of failure that can arouse is of no value. Sometimes all you can do is ask yourself: What must I do this week? today? next hour? to continue the process as healthily as possible? to accomplish the most? It may be deep immersion in one, or it may be an odd mix. And tomorrow may be different. And an unexpected gift may come and change everything. And a Mack truck may hit and change everything. Our answers to those questions may not look similar but what I hope is similar is the acceptance of what must be. Persist in your own patches. Make your own quilt.”

“It's a balancing act, keeping hope but not letting it drive you to distraction. Because the flip side of hope, the dark side, is the side that keeps you wanting to be somewhere else from where you are, with something else from what you've got-- the side that keeps you from appreciating and feeling fully and deeply what there is in this moment. Hope keeps us in the flow--moving forward-- and I will not underestimate its value, but hopelessness keeps us present in the moment, whether it is the Buddhist hopelessness of non-attachment or the hopelessness of despair.”

“I think there is a place where hopefulness and hopelessness co-exist, one of my beloved contradictory co-existing realities (what others call a paradox, but paradoxes can be mis-defined themselves, not owning their true contrari-ness and/or co-existence): something like joy-and-hope-in-the-process-of-being-and-becoming, something like awareness-of-distant-goals-without-attachment-to-getting-them, something like satisfaction-in-dissatisfaction. Like riding a roller coaster, being and feeling where it is and feeling where it's going all at the same time, since where it's going is part of where it is, and, whatever the now is, it will never stay there. Something like life.”

“Hope alone cannot create outcomes but having hope affects outcomes. Proceeding with hope makes more things possible, may just be what gets you up and out the door, making anything possible at all. But hope is an illusion, no? Yes, my love, but no more than fear and worry. They are all illusions because they are all about the future, and we cannot know the future. But ... hope is an illusion that opens us up, inspires joy, reminds us of possibility, gets us through trial and tribulation more easily (like singing in the rhythm of a labor-intensive task makes it easier to keep on going). Hope leads us to more, better, greater things-- maybe not the ideal, the fantasy, even the very thing you hope for-- but more, better, greater than would otherwise be.”

“I have said for many years that the only real difference between a philosophy and a religion is one or more gods... I am learning more and more-- as I did when studying eastern religions in my twenties-- how powerful prayer can be, and I don't mean because one god answers anyone's prayers. It is the place it puts us in. Focus. Reflection. Vertical communication. Surrender (to the powers that be and those that may or may not be). And so: Hope.”

“Integrity, America. You lack integrity. The degree of distance between how we want to see ourselves and how we are is enormous. Integrity. Individually and as a people. We lack integrity. As an individual, I have long known that the only hope for integrity is not only the effort expended to live up to our word, but the willingness to own how and where we have not, and to hold ourselves accountable for the consequences of that.”

“Even the deepest darkest tragedies are not quite as heavy when they are shared-- shared in experience and shared in the re-telling. Even the worst, most disastrous mistakes are easier to learn from, to move on from when they are shared-- cried over, laughed at, moved through the body... Share the facts, the feelings, the foibles, the fears. Share the wonder, the sweetness, the hope, the possibilities. Friendship is not greater than love-- friendship IS love. Sharing is love.”