“If you see my truth as a sign of disrespect (because it conflicts with your truth), then nothing I can ever say can ever have an effect that isn't negative. Anything I say--voicing any other way of looking at things-- seems like defensiveness, entrenched obstinacy, disrespect. So I didn't contradict anything. Anything. I just took it all in.” LoveTruthTrustCommunicationPerspectiveListeningConflictRespectDisrespectMist Clears Author:Shellen Lubin
“It really helps if we can respect each other's perspectives. That alone can get us past so many impasses. Sometimes it can even help us find a new possibility we hadn't seen before; but even if not, sometimes it can help us at least see the other person's rationales; but even if not, sometimes it can help us just accept that another way of seeing it, of doing it, exists, functions, is effective for someone, even if not for us, even if we can't understand it. It really helps if we can respect each other's perspectives. But sometimes we can't. Then it really helps if we can trust each other's intentions, know that we want the best for each other as much as for ourselves even if we disagree on how to get there. It really helps if we can trust each other's intentions. But sometimes we can't.” LovePossibilityTrustPerspectiveRespectAdversityIntentionAcknowledgeDisagreementRespect The Mist Author:Shellen Lubin
“Trust and respect. Necessary elements to finding a way through. But sometimes we can't. And when we can't-- when the mist is so thick that we can't even see our own hands-- no less the other person's heart-- sometimes we must be still. I must be still.” LoveHeartFaithFamilyTrustRespectSalvationStillnessFogRespect The Mist Author:Shellen Lubin
“We move forward, treading carefully, assessing the fault lines; the red flags; the triggers, the trigger-happy destroyers, and the destruction left in their wake; and the seers and the vigilant doers as well, those trying to stem the tide of authoritarianism and dictatorship. We continually assess when and how to protest; when and how to silently stand strong; when to retreat; and if and when we must run. All must be reflected on, new findings factored in, continually assessed and re-assessed... Talk about what's happening--it helps. Weigh your options, for yourself and those you love--it helps. Weigh your options for taking action and making a difference if you can--it helps. Make contingency plans--it helps. Fear nothing.” LoveWisdomActionCourageLearningGratitudeReflectionDestructionProtestFear Nothing Author:Shellen Lubin
“It's easy to be afraid right now-- there is so much to be done. None of us can do it all, but we must each do what we can. And we must take care of ourselves in the process, our very human bodies and psyches, our comparatively little but beloved lives. Love gives us hope. Hope gives us courage.” LoveCareHopeFearCommunityCourageSelf CareAltruismAfraid Not Afraid Author:Shellen Lubin
“It's easy to be afraid right now, but doing things that scare you makes you stronger, makes fear less of an obstacle, allows us to find ways to dance in that liminal space-- that contradictory co-existing reality-- of afraid not afraid. We need to keep doing things that really scare us, to remind ourselves that it is just a thing, what we call fear-- and that as much as there are real things to fear, that thing itself is the only thing that can paralyze us. Love, passion, hunger, desire, lead us forward to dance with our fear so we can do it, yes, and also so we learn that we can do it again and again, and live with the failures-- learn from the failures-- when our fears are realized (another topic entirely). Take heart.” LoveHeartDesirePassionFearLearningStrengthHungerTriumphAfraid Not Afraid Author:Shellen Lubin
“Every single day is tzimmes Because Everyone you know is tzimmes And so Everyone you love is tzimmes” LoveStrengthSweetJudaismJewishComplexMusicalsZaydehs Tzimmes Author:Shellen Lubin
“It was an insane venture. And then, while I was working away at figuring out how to make it happen, I watched Inventing Anna, and at the end of the whole series of episodes, this accomplished con artist was asked what most surprised her about people... She said she was surprised that people couldn't live with a higher level of anxiety. She believed that that was what brought her down. And at that moment I knew that that was what I needed to get through this whole venture: to be able to live with that level of anxiety. And I could. And I did.” LoveStrengthVictoryAnxietyTriumphInsanityPersevereJewishMusicalsOther Side Of Fear Author:Shellen Lubin
“Sometimes there's nothing to be done. Sometimes they're not listening, can't hear, don't want to, don't believe you. Sometimes you cannot stop the storm, stem the tide, change the path of the ocean liner even though it hasn't quite yet hit the iceberg. There will be times despite all efforts you will feel completely misunderstood completely unappreciated completely wronged. Sometimes love just isn't enough.” LoveWisdomHonestySurrenderReleaseEmptinessFutilityTo Be Done Author:Shellen Lubin
“Whatever else is going on, this feels well used. And someday when I am all used up-- used and used for the very last time-- let them say that of my life: let them say that I was well used.” LovePurposePassionAwarenessExpressionSelf AwarenessSelf WorthGenerosityDedicationWell Used Author:Shellen Lubin
“The prince's choice, to be or not to be. The human choice, to love or not to love while you're figuring out who to be, how to be. The choice, to do it with passion or resistance... This is what we struggle with” LoveChoicesPassionStruggleIdentityResistanceHamletAugust WilsonTwo Trains Author:Shellen Lubin
“The most important quality we bring to everything we do (work, play, creating, loving, parenting, friending, teaching, learning) is to care, to start from a place of caring and to care throughout the process. With care, there are unlimited possibilities-- without care, pitfalls dead ends trip us up knock us down bury us. This is your life. Allow difference mess even chaos. But not Indifference. Handle With Care.” LoveLifePlayCareWorkTeachPossibilityLearnCreateHandle With Care Author:Shellen Lubin
“As much as evil and mercenary selfishness never fail to rear their ugly heads-- sowing destruction in all directions-- so, too, do love and beauty never fail to emerge from the debris. Amid the chaos, there is always something that grows.” LoveEvilGrowthBeautyDestructionChaos Author:Shellen Lubin
“Handle with care. Me. You. All we do. It doesn't mean do everything for anyone or something for everyone but it does mean to do it the most care-fully you are able. I strive for that each moment-- fail miserably much of the time, but still try-- whether work, play loving, writing-- to do it as care-fully as I might-- for myself and those I love, yes, but also for the ripple effects-- the butterfly-wing-flapping effects-- in places unknowable and unknown.” LovePlayCareWorkAwarenessSelf LoveMindfulnessWriteInterconnectednessCarefully Author:Shellen Lubin
“Labor has four parts to celebrate: work, rest from work, appreciation of the work done (yours and others), and the recognition of how your work has shaped you. When you build a house, you have both a house and a builder. When you plant a garden, you have plants and a gardener, too. When you teach, if you remain open to the discovery itself, you have a lifetime of learning. Engage with the world and it will hone you, more connected, more able to love all the world, including all the hard parts.” LoveWorkLearningTeachingBuildingDiscoveryImpactAppreciationRestLaboring Author:Shellen Lubin
“There is power in continuing to work to strive to serve to love to do good to clean up from bad to rest to question to try to find balance even when the purpose is unclear, even when the value is murky, even when you can't see the path forward and there's no end in sight. There is power in effort. There is power in persistence. There is power in Continuing on.” LoveWorkBalanceStriveValuePersistenceRestQuestionServeContinue On Author:Shellen Lubin
“Love and work. Work and love. Whatever it is we do, whoever it is we love, hopefully we make something better with it all-- our lives, our community, our country, the world.” WorldLoveLifeCountryHopeGrowthCommunityWorkGratitudeImprovement Author:Shellen Lubin
“My heart has known so many homes So many cherished spaces In cities, forests, country towns, So many different places I’ve loved. And now, Weary from multiple moves and moods, Changes—thoroughly pondered or care-lessly tossed, Bearings precarious from selling, buying, fixing, selling—Powers used, exhausted, but not laid waste—Invested, projected, Expectations refined and re-defined. So many times over done (and yes, bodies buried in backyards and swimming under lake-still waters) And yet none of them —none of the places, the ghosts— are really gone. You see: My heart has known so many homes So many cherished spaces In cities, forests, country towns So many different places I’ve been And loved And shared And left behind Here in me—rooted deeply true. Soul, spirit, body, heart, and mind I carry my homes in me— You carry your home with you.” LoveMindHeartSoulHomeBodySpiritRootsCherishSharing Author:Shellen Lubin
“I am one one only one still one who can do something not everything but not nothing. I am one one only one still one who can join with others who are doing something same lane different lanes leading following making noise making fun making art making love making a difference.” LoveArtActionFunImpactNoiseOneMake A DifferenceDo SomethingNot Nothing Not Everything Author:Shellen Lubin
“You are one one only one still one who can do something not everything but not nothing. Pick a lane. Find a task. Make noise. Make fun. Make art. Make love. Make a difference.” LoveArtActionFunNoiseMake A DifferenceDo SomethingNot Nothing Not Everything Author:Shellen Lubin
“... continually shifting perspective ... including, always, the side where we laugh at everything, including ourselves; and all with love-- love for ourselves with all imperfections, love for others and theirs, love for this crazy, delicious, brutal world in which we live.” LoveLifeLaughterImperfectionLaughH B Me Author:Shellen Lubin
“This is not an easy time But tell me—tell me here, with all we know upended: What has real meaning and value for you? Right now? What is worth your time and love, your self-investment, No matter what the morrow brings?” LoveTimeFaithStruggleValueMeaningPresent MomentThe No New Normal New Normal Author:Shellen Lubin
“As long as I focus on what I can accomplish today, what I can create, who I can care for and love, how I can grow, how I can participate in pushing back, I'm good. I look at the whole and want to run screaming into the hills. But that's privilege.” LoveCareFocusShockCreateGrowEmergencyWeak Tea Author:Shellen Lubin
“We are imperfect creatures. Imperfection breeds empathy and understanding. Empathy and understanding breed forgiveness. Forgiveness breeds love. And we all need more love in our lives.” LoveUnderstandingGrowthEmpathyForgivenessImperfectionFuture Forgiveness Author:Shellen Lubin
“I sat still for awhile, and I saw something when the mist cleared that I had never fully seen before. If you see my truth as a sign of disrespect (because it conflicts with your truth), then nothing I can ever say can ever have an effect that isn't negative... So I didn't contradict anything. Anything. I just took it all in. And then, yes, I get to go back to my world and do with it what I will. I wouldn't do it for just anyone. But for them, it was worth it. It was so worth it.” LoveTruthVisionListeningDisciplinePrioritiesClarityAutonomyDisrespectMist Clears Author:Shellen Lubin
“How do you make hope? For me, it's writing, reading, researching, rehearsing, teaching, coaching, loving--partnering, parenting, friending, all those things that take me outside of myself and take me deeper inside myself at the same time, a beautiful contradictory co-existing reality. We do not know yet what is still to come, but we do know what we can do to find our way through it. Keep making things, keep making hope. It's the least we can do. It's the most we can do.” LoveWritingReadingTeachingPerseveranceConnectionCreateForwardHope Making Author:Shellen Lubin
“Two trains, going down two tracks, two different paths, millions of different journeys. The choice is always to love or not to love. What's it gonna be?” LovePurposeChoicesJourneyDestinationPossibilitiesAugust WilsonTwo Trains Author:Shellen Lubin
“Setting boundaries is easy... Holding boundaries is what's hard. But then, over time, something miraculous happens. You set the boundary, you do what you need to do, and you immediately feel lighter, freer, less burdened-- not every time, not with every person-- but with some people every time-- and with every person sometimes-- and a new habit forms of doing it in a way that works better for you and not making yourself suffer for that. I love feeling that I've made a good decision for myself, for the situation, for the long-range outcome.” LoveRelationshipsVisionBalanceBoundariesPreparationDecisionsMiraclesHolding Boundaries Author:Shellen Lubin
“When all else fails, laugh at the quandary. When all else fails, laugh at yourself. When all else fails, love as is.” LoveFaithPerspectiveBalanceLaughterPreparationOpennessWhen All Else FailsQuandary Author:Shellen Lubin
“She was one of the greatest losses, bell hooks... a brilliant thinker, and writer, and teacher, reflective and brave and inspiring, revolutionary ideas infused with ancestral wisdom, always coming from a place of love, which kept her in a world of possibility.” ThinkingLoveInspirationalWritingWisdomTeachingReflectionBraveryBell HooksHooked On Hooks Author:Shellen Lubin
“I'm sorry'--like 'I love you'--like many phrases--means more than one thing, even on its surface. So people get confused what they're saying and what they're hearing when the words 'I'm sorry' are spoken... But even when you're clear which kind of 'sorry' is in play, the words of an apology only mean what they are invested with. 'I'm sorry' is the vessel. What's inside the 'sorry' container makes all the difference.” LoveAwarenessCommunicationInvestmentConfusionApologyRemorseSorry For What Author:Shellen Lubin
“Love mingled with grief, and rage. Hope mingled with despair. Sounds like the state of our world right now.” LoveRealityHopeGriefDespairRageBalancing Act Author:Shellen Lubin
“Hope is bubbling in the ocean of our collective lives... I can feel the hope bubbling inside, popping little pockets of air rising to the surface. I try to suppress them-- too soon, unsure, can't afford to risk-- but why? And why would I want to? Those bubbles pop joy into the air, spring action to life, and they feel so good, massaging the soul.” LoveSoulActionJoyFaithHopeInterconnectednessHope Bubbles Author:Shellen Lubin
“Engage with the world and it will hone you, more connected, more able to love all the world, even the hard parts we're going through right now and the hardest parts yet to come.” LovePerseveranceConnectionEngagementChallengeOpenLabor DayConnectShape Author:Shellen Lubin
“Tyrants want us at each other's throats. We need each other even more. In isolation, it's so easy to think this is all there ever will be. Together we remember the beauty, the love, the humor, the music, the dance of life-- the belief that it is all a cycle, that it will not always be that way.” LoveHumorFaithHumanityBeautyMusicDanceConnectionSharingShare It Author:Shellen Lubin
“We are never anywhere but where we are even when much of that "where" is moving in some direction or other towards somewhere else. We cannot --right now-- know more than we know, have prepared or studied or rehearsed more than we actually did, be more beautiful or wiser or wittier or wealthier or healthier or stronger or better rested than we actually are. So go out and sing. Express your love laid bare and open. Be the fully imperfect glorious creature that you are. Dance in the rain.” LoveRealityAcceptanceLetting GoDanceAuthenticityImperfectionPresenceSingLet It Rain Author:Shellen Lubin
“When all else fails, try a different tool. When all else fails, try a different methodology. When all else fails, try a different objective. When all else falls, ask for help. When all else fails, find someone else to ask. When all else fails, get a third opinion. When all else fails, get another perspective. When all else fails, get a research librarian to guide you to other tools, methodologies, perspectives, philosophies, objectives. When all else fails, find a professional to do it. When all else fails, find a child to figure it out. When all else fails, weep, moan, and pound the walls. When all else fails, unplug and plug back in. When all else fails, shake up the system. When all else fails, shake up your system--stretch, run, go to the gym and punch a bag. When all else fails, laugh at the quandary. When all else fails, laugh at yourself. When all else fails, light a scented candle and watch the flame as you drink in the smell. When all else fails, drink water. When all else fails, immerse yourself in water--hot, cold, or hot then cold. When all else fails, sing an anthem to the trees, the ground, the distant view. When all else fails, dance a rhumba, dance a tango, dance a forest witchie ritual. When all else fails, take a nap. When all else fails, go away completely, however long feels necessary. When all else fails, try and figure out what's to be gained or learned if this was the way it absolutely needed to happen. When all else fails, accept that this is the way it is. When all else fails, love as is. When all else fails, walk away.” LovePhilosophyLearningAcceptanceToolsReleaseReliefLaughSingWhen All Else Fails Author:Shellen Lubin
“It's a delicious paradox, a contradictory co-existing reality, to love unconditionally but stay separated enough to see clearly at least sometimes.” LoveRealityMovingSpaceVisionBalanceClarityParadoxStaying Separated Author:Shellen Lubin
“Nothing is exactly the same for us all. And yet our lives are lived relationally, and so we must factor in others we love as we make plans, as we alter plans as we abandon plans. It's all so complicated, and in different periods different phases of our lives a different balance is required. There's no way to get it perfectly right. There's no one way that is absolutely perfect. If you measure them up against perfection, anything you do will be found wanting... Imagining, planning, doing, maintaining, re-assessing, altering. In the process of all, you carve out a self and the world in which that self resides.” LoveRealityRelationshipsChangeImagineIdentityPerfectionSeasonsIntentionLong Term Plan Author:Shellen Lubin
“Moments of peace. Moments of joy. Moments of love and light and laughter. That may be all we have this year, amidst the chaos and insanity of this world, and yet, and yet, we must take those moments where we can find them make them know them be them. It is at least better that way. Otherwise, we're just wallowing in the darkness, allowing the forces of chaos more power, allowing the insanity to create what is to come.” LoveLightJoyPeaceDarknessSurvivalLaughterChaosInsanityIt Is Better Author:Shellen Lubin
“It’s an insane venture to live, to thrive, to create, to know, be known, to care, to love, be loved in these times in all times against all odds and darkest forces.” LoveCompassionKnowledgeCreativityDarknessVulnerabilityThriveLiveCreateThe Insane Venture Author:Shellen Lubin
“You cannot fell a hill From force of will Only time. You cannot dissipate Hate with righteous hate Only love. Only time, only love, Only time and love.” LoveTimePeaceWillUkrainePrayer For Peace Author:Shellen Lubin
“Even the deepest darkest tragedies are not quite as heavy when they are shared-- shared in experience and shared in the re-telling. Even the worst, most disastrous mistakes are easier to learn from, to move on from when they are shared-- cried over, laughed at, moved through the body... Share the facts, the feelings, the foibles, the fears. Share the wonder, the sweetness, the hope, the possibilities. Friendship is not greater than love-- friendship IS love. Sharing is love.” LoveFeelingsHopeFriendshipWonderCryPossibilityLaughterSharingShare It Author:Shellen Lubin