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Shellen Lubin Quotes

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Famous Shellen Lubin Quotes

“When people ask 'how do I know if I'm being too easy or hard on myself?' or 'how hard should I be on myself?' I answer, 'hard enough to motivate you to do something, and not so hard that it makes you want to bury your head in your pillow and give up.' So now I add, to the question 'how much should the director in the back of my head be side-coaching what I'm saying and doing?': enough to make you self-aware (and aware of others, and receptive and responsive to them) and not so much as to make you self-conscious. No judgement.”

“Handle with care. Me. You. All we do. It doesn't mean do everything for anyone or something for everyone but it does mean to do it the most care-fully you are able. I strive for that each moment-- fail miserably much of the time, but still try-- whether work, play loving, writing-- to do it as care-fully as I might-- for myself and those I love, yes, but also for the ripple effects-- the butterfly-wing-flapping effects-- in places unknowable and unknown.”

“Full of woe means greater depth, greater awareness and empathy. Full of woe means challenges to meet, mountains to climb, finding joy in odd, small places, finding meaning in dark times. And we've certainly got dark times, and many challenges... Wednesday builds resilience so you can walk the miles of Thursday. On to Thursday. We still have far to go.”

“Do you see it? Do you get it? Are you clear on What's going on? White women are subjugated (as human beings) even when elevated (as muses and objects of desire). Black men are infantilized intellectually (to diminish power) and aged-up physically (to increase threat). Black women are subjugated, infantilized, and aged-up, expected to selflessly carry everyone else. Immigrants and people of color are supposed to dedicate their lives to the illusion--the lottery-- of the American Dream, by actually feeding the American Machine.”

“The tides are turning. Everybody else is waking up, becoming more awake, aware, seeking knowledge, challenging the assumptions. 'They' call it 'woke' and demean it... 'They' may be--may aspire to be--the authorities, may judge and smirk and wield their swords, but 'everybody else' knows what's really happening. And the forces of change, however resisted, will continue to awaken us all.”

“The native population of this continent deserves more notice taken than on Indigenous Peoples Day. But this day at least, please, let's learn more about the people whose land we stole (yes, even we whose forebearers came more recently, because we continue to benefit from the theft), and to sit in the complexity that is the building and continuation of our civilization.”

“I'm sorry'--like 'I love you'--like many phrases--means more than one thing, even on its surface. So people get confused what they're saying and what they're hearing when the words 'I'm sorry' are spoken... But even when you're clear which kind of 'sorry' is in play, the words of an apology only mean what they are invested with. 'I'm sorry' is the vessel. What's inside the 'sorry' container makes all the difference.”

“If the voices and perspectives we assess ourselves by are stuck in systems of their own they can be another trap. If they're stuck in their own agendas-- their needs and desires-- then they're another "wicked temptation" to sell out our deepest truths to please or pacify someone else. Which is why I advocate multiple mirrors, offering different ways of seeing, of feeling, of processing, angles and views we might otherwise miss, and reminding us to revere just how complex reality is.”