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Famous Stephen Colbert Quotes
“If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.”
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
“I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.”
“Foreign newspapers: if they've got nothing to hide, how come they don't print them in English?”
“Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?”
“If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.”
“If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?”
“If someone spreads hate then they're not your religious leader.”
“And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.”