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Tara Brach

Tara Brach Quotes

Psychologist

Tara Brach is an American psychologist born on May 17, 1953. She is renowned for her contributions to mindfulness meditation and psychotherapy, particularly in the areas of stress management and emotional regulation. Dr. Brach's work emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and inner wisdom.

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All Way Heart Ifs Radical Acceptance Body Self Feelings Moments Compassion Kindness

Famous Tara Brach Quotes

“If attachment then carries forward in a way that's not healthy, we need to let it be there without making it wrong and bring as compassionate and honest attention to it as possible. Honor that this is part of being human, but it's important to know when it's getting in the way.”

Ifs Knows Way Needs Humans Important Attention Honest Honor Healthy Carrie Attachment Compassionate Being Human

Author:Tara Brach

“When I'm attached, I find that I don't see the other person as clearly because I'm more caught up in what I'm wanting.”

Persons Caught Caught Up

Author:Tara Brach

“When I watch that attachment happening, I see the beliefs that I have around it. If somebody's not paying attention to me in a certain way, in my mind, it means they don't love me or they don't respect me. Bringing awareness to the beliefs that are underneath the attachment and bringing awareness to the way my body and heart are tightening, helps me wake up and re-inhabit a larger space of being. Holding on and pushing away might be going on but I'm freer to respond in a healthy way.”

Ifs Way Mind Heart Mean Helping Body Might Certain Belief Space Attention Watches Awareness Healthy Happenings Wake Up Pay Attention Help Me Pushing Attachment Holding On Respect Me Pushing Away

Author:Tara Brach

“If I'm judging the attachment, myself, or another person, then I create separation.”

Ifs Persons Judging Separation Attachment

Author:Tara Brach

“If I can forgive the attachment in myself and open to the vulnerability that's underneath it, then rather than fixating on another person to satisfy my need, I'm actually going right to where the needs come from and able to bring a real healing.”

Ifs Needs Persons I Can Real Able Healing Forgiving Vulnerability Attachment

Author:Tara Brach

“The mistake we make is that when we're feeling another person is not treating us in the way that makes us feel secure and loved, we fixate our attention on that person and what's wrong with them. We also fixate on what's wrong with us. Instead, we can bring forward two wings of awareness: the wing of mindfulness (noticing what's going on inside us) and the wing of kindness (compassion to what's going on inside us).”

Way Feels Persons Two Feelings Attention Mistake Compassion Kindness Awareness Mindfulness Wings Secure Noticing

Author:Tara Brach

“A lot of times in spiritual communities, detachment is considered to be an expression of being spiritually evolved when often, we have want and fear around being in relationship with each other.”

Want Spiritual Community Expression Detachment Spiritual Community

Author:Tara Brach

“The fear side can have us pull away and protect us, but it's really a withdrawal, a disassociation, a cutting off. Rather than the word detachment, I usually use the word non-attachment. That can be wholesome when we care and are completely engaged with each other but are not attached to things being a certain way.”

Way Use Care Certain Sides Cutting Protect Engaged Attachment Detachment Withdrawal Cutting Off

Author:Tara Brach

“That non-attachment gives us the freedom to be exactly who we are.”

Giving Who We Are Attachment

Author:Tara Brach

“I think of desire as the essence that brings forth the whole universe.”

Thinking Whole Desire Universe Essence

Author:Tara Brach

“If it weren't for desire, the formless would not have come into form and engage creatively.”

Ifs Form Desire

Author:Tara Brach

“This longing to express and celebrate life is innate and quite beautiful.”

Beautiful Life Is Longing Celebrate Innate Celebrate Life

Author:Tara Brach

“Where desire ends up causing suffering is when it fixates.”

Ends Desire Suffering

Author:Tara Brach

“When desire for a certain person's attention becomes an "I have to have" kind of grasping, then identity gets organized around needing that and it becomes very solid and sticky. That causes suffering because we're not inhabiting the fullness of who we are, we're fixated and contracted on life being a certain way.”

Way Kind Persons Desire Certain Suffering Causes Attention Identity Organized Who We Are Fullness Grasping Sticky

Author:Tara Brach

“Somewhere in my early twenties I realized I was pretty constantly monitoring myself, judging how I was always falling short, whether it was about not being a good enough daughter or friend, or my appearance, or whatever. I ended up becoming involved with a spiritual path in the yogic tradition, living in an ashram, doing a very rigorous spiritual practice.”

Enough Spiritual Fall Practice Path Judging Becoming Involved Daughter Tradition Twenties Appearance I Realized Good Enough Spiritual Path Spiritual Practice Monitoring Becoming Involved

Author:Tara Brach

“Our greatest longing is to be intimate.”

Longing Intimate

Author:Tara Brach

“We want to be in open, loving communion with each other and our greatest fear is intimacy. That it won't work and we'll be rejected.”

Want Intimacy Rejected Communion Greatest Fear Our Greatest Fear

Author:Tara Brach

“I speak a lot about what I call "the trance of unworthiness" which is really epidemic in our culture, this sense of "I'm not enough," or "something's wrong with me." Most of us have some level of it because our culture has all these standards (handed down through our families) of what it means to be okay.”

Mean Enough Culture Speak Levels Standards Okay Our Family Epidemics Trance

Author:Tara Brach

“I want to accept myself completely, just as I am.”

Author:Tara Brach

“Most of us grow up with a sense of "I'm not intelligent enough." It's such a sad thing that in the West we worship a certain kind of left-brain intelligence.”

Kind Enough Certain Left Grows Brain Growing Up Worship Intelligent West Sad Things Left Brain

Author:Tara Brach

“Our kids go to school and they come out feeling not intelligent, not desirable, not attractive or appealing to others.”

Feelings Kids School Intelligent Attractive Desirable

Author:Tara Brach

“I knew I could hold myself with that absolute love and compassion.”

Compassion Absolutes Love And Compassion Absolute Love

Author:Tara Brach

“Along with judging myself harshly, I'd also always seen the truth of goodness in me.”

Judging Goodness Judging Myself

Author:Tara Brach

“If [kids] get into loving relationships, they're afraid they'll be found wanting, won't have the looks or body shape our culture deems worthy. Many of us feel we're falling short and if we start feeling close to another person, that we'll be found out and rejected.”

Ifs Feels Looks Persons Feelings Body Kids Fall Culture Found Shapes Worthy Rejected Loving Relationships Body Shapes

Author:Tara Brach

“The main thing going on around intimacy is that we've developed a lot of strategies so we'll be a desirable package.”

Strategy Intimacy Desirable Packages

Author:Tara Brach

“I sometimes call this our "spacesuit self" because we come into an environment that is difficult and challenging, where we're told to be different. We're told to jump over hoops to be loved and appreciated, so we have to develop spacesuit strategies to get approval and create ways to avoid being judged.”

Way Different Self Sometimes Difficult Challenges Environment Strategy Judged Approval Appreciated Being Judged

Author:Tara Brach

“I'd known that I had the capacity to love, that I enjoyed seeing other people be happy, that I had a real awe and wonder about the beauty of this world.”

People World Real Known Wonder Seeing This World Capacity Enjoyed Awe Capacity To Love Awe And Wonder

Author:Tara Brach

“In intimate relationships, if we start trying to be more real, it's very scary.”

Ifs Trying Real Scary Intimate Intimate Relationships

Author:Tara Brach

“I registered the dukkha of self-aversion with such clarity that I knew there was no freedom unless I could love this life without holding back. This didn't mean I was going to ignore my flaws and stop seeking to improve what I could. But in the deepest way, I was not going to fixate on the conclusion that something was wrong with me.”

Way Mean Self Seeking Conclusion Clarity This Life Flaws Aversion Holding Back

Author:Tara Brach

“We're so used to presenting ourselves and getting approval according to our achievements that it's difficult to be authentic and trust that we'll be accepted just as we are.”

Used Difficult Achievement Accepted Approval Presenting

Author:Tara Brach

“Self-judgment continues to arise - it's a strong habit - but the fact that I made a conscious commitment to recognize it has helped me stop feeding the story of being unworthy.”

Made Self Facts Stories Strong Habit Judgment Conscious Commitment Arise Feeding Unworthy

Author:Tara Brach

“People have to find their rhythm. Some people have need for more contact and time together and some people need more space.”

People Needs Together Space Contact Rhythm Time Together

Author:Tara Brach

“I don't believe I'm bad, and I do believe I'm good.”

Believe Don't Believe

Author:Tara Brach

“Allowing another to be as they are is more what I think of as "space." The space to express yourself and know that you're going to be accepted. That's more where I go than with the actual physical logistics of how much time you have together and how much time you have apart.”

Thinking Knows Together Space Accepted Allowing Express Yourself Logistics

Author:Tara Brach

“Stories about ourselves and about the world continually arise in our minds and shape our beliefs about reality.”

World Mind Stories Reality Belief Shapes Arise

Author:Tara Brach

“Telling each other the truth and being who we are, and having space for the other person's vulnerability in being who they are, allows us to move in a kind of dance together that's very fluid and graceful.”

Kind Persons Together Moving Space Vulnerability Who We Are Fluid

Author:Tara Brach

“There are stories we take on from our culture, and there are stories based on our own personal history. Some of those stories lock us in limiting beliefs and lead to suffering, and there are others that can move us toward freedom.”

Stories Moving Suffering Culture Belief Locks Personal History Limiting Beliefs

Author:Tara Brach

“If there's a demand of being together in a certain way, those expectations and judgements take away from that space and create an edginess and a cramped-ness to the relationship.”

Ifs Way Together Certain Space Demand Expectations Judgement Being Together Edginess

Author:Tara Brach

“Most of us grew up with a very damaging story that something is wrong with us. Gradually - or as in my case, suddenly - we become resolved not to believe this anymore. It takes a dedicated practice to follow up on that resolution, because the conditioning is very strong to keep generating self-demeaning stories.”

Believe Self Stories Strong Practice Cases Grew Grew Up Resolution Dedicated Very Strong Conditioning Demeaning Follow Up

Author:Tara Brach

“In the process of deeply accepting our own inner experience, instead of being identified with a story of a limited self, we realize the compassion and wakefulness that is our essence.”

Self Stories Process Realizing Compassion Accepting Essence

Author:Tara Brach

“The two wings of mindfulness and kindness will begin to open the heart to more connection with our world.”

World Heart Two Kindness Mindfulness Connections Wings Our World

Author:Tara Brach

“It's the beginning of opening to love. Even if there's not much feeling of compassion toward oneself, just say, "It's okay, sweetheart," or "I'm sorry and I love you."”

Ifs Feelings Compassion Love You Okay Sorry Oneself Opening I'm Sorry Sweetheart

Author:Tara Brach

“Even going through the motions is a way of establishing a new relationship with our inner life that is caring and tender, versus one that is judging, distancing or ignoring. This is the beginning of being capable of intimacy with others.”

Way Judging Capable Caring Intimacy Versus Inner Life New Relationship

Author:Tara Brach

“This is for anyone reading this who wants to explore it. Recognize the thought, "Afraid of loving," then gently put your hand on your heart to send a message of kindness.”

Want Heart Hands Reading Kindness Messages

Author:Tara Brach

“I mentioned earlier the two wings of awareness. The first step is recognizing the fear of getting close to others - this honest witnessing of where it is in the body, where it is in your beliefs.The other wing regards what's seen with kindness and compassion.”

Firsts Two Body Belief Compassion Steps Kindness Honest Awareness Regard Wings First Steps Recognizing Kindness And Compassion

Author:Tara Brach

“To open in a loving way is to let awareness notice that tightening.”

Author:Tara Brach

“My understanding is that to love, we need to be able to totally surrender to the living/dying nature of this world.”

World Needs Able Understanding Dying This World Surrender

Author:Tara Brach

“Emotions are the interaction of thoughts and of sensations in the body.”

Body Emotion Sensations Interaction

Author:Tara Brach

“Everything we love goes. So to be able to grieve that loss, to let go, to have that grief be absolutely full, is the only way to have our heart be full and open.”

Way Heart Able Loss Grief Letting Go Grieving

Author:Tara Brach

“The process of radical acceptance is to accept that a story has appeared in the mind, and then deepen the attention to see clearly what's happening in the body, to regard those feelings and sensations with kindness and acceptance, and to notice how they come and go.”

Mind Stories Feelings Body Process Attention Accepting Kindness Acceptance Happenings Regard Radical Sensations Comes And Goes Radical Acceptance

Author:Tara Brach

About the Author

Born: May 17, 1953
Known for: Psychologist
Quotes: 180

Related Topics

Way Heart Ifs Radical Acceptance Body Self Feelings Moments Compassion Kindness

Popular Topics

People Ifs Thinking Knows Men World Way Want Love Life Inspirational Needs Giving Feels Should Writing Trying Years Mind Firsts

Books & Sources

Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and ShameRelated source material

True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened HeartRelated source material

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a BuddhaRelated source material

Radical Self-Acceptance: A Buddhist Guide to Freeing Yourself from ShameRelated source material

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