“The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.” FirstsHumorFunnyLeftWaitingMinutesFieldsLowsBaseballBallsGroundedLeft Field Author:Jerry Coleman
“That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.” HomeHumorRunningFunnyFiguresBaseballHome Run Author:Jerry Coleman
“If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance.” IfsLiteratureLeftChanceNumbersManagementDisasterSufficientLayersAssured Author:Norman Ralph Augustine
“When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool.” HumorFunnyCertainEasyFoolFooled Author:Edward Teller
“This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.” ReasonHumorFunnyJobsDrinkGrateful Author:W. C. Fields
“Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.” MenHumorFunnyCowboyTobaccoSlapChewingCowboy WisdomCowboys And HorsesMy CowboyChewing Tobacco Author:Will Rogers
“When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.” WantTryingStillsHumorFunnyLegsBeachGrandchildrenVeinsPillsMy Grandchildren Author:Phyllis Diller
“Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.” MenMayLongHumorFunnyExpressionOceanLong TimeEnglandSizeCome UpShipsBeing TrueHoney Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll."” IfsThinkingPlayHumorWould BeFunnyBreadPlaying DrumsDrumsticks Book:Brain Droppings Source: Brain Droppings
“As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.” HumorEyeFunnyBoysTestsGlassesAshamedEssays Author:Woody Allen