“Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.” KnowsChildrenFunnyAnswersAskingAdolescenceAprilAsking QuestionsApril Fools Day Author:Evan Esar
“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'” MenWantYearsDoeSoulAbleFunnyWomenAnswersPsychologyResearchDespiteThirtyFemininePsychoanalysisThirty YearsFunny LoveWomen WantFeminine BeautyFeminine Energy Author:Sigmund Freud
“To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.” MenProblemFunnyGirlWomenAnswersSmartNo ProblemFunny WomenSmart Girl Author:Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.” HumorFunnySpeakChurchAnswersMassHearingFavorsCeremony Author:Charles de Gaulle
“After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.” ThinkingWantYearsFunnyLyingWomenAnswersInspiringFoodConversationCookingStartingInsightSurfaceCulinaryChocolateScratchesAnniversaryWomen WantBrowniesYummyFunny ChocolateYears Of MarriageSweets And DessertsScratching The Surface Author:Mel Gibson
“Unfortunately, once I did learn to smoke, I couldn't stop. I escalated to two packs a day very quickly, and stayed that way for about ten years. When I decided to stop, I adopted the method that my father had used when he quit. He would carry a cigarette in his shirt pocket, and every time he felt like smoking, he would pull out the cigarette and confront it: "Who stronger? You? Me?" Always the answer was the same: "I stronger." Back the cigarette would go, until the next craving. It worked for him, and it worked for me.” WayYearsTwoFunnyUsedNextFatherFeltAnswersTenDecidedStrongerMethodQuittingSmokeShirtsSmokingPocketsCigarettePacksAdoptedCravingCigar Author:Kirk Douglas
“The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."” PeopleKnowsTwoRealEnoughHumorFunnyMovingNextAsksEasyAnswersNumbersPressesPhonesNext TimePhone Numbers Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I was at a restaurant, and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress understood me. She asked me, "How would you like your eggs?" I thought I would answer her anyway and said, "Incubated! And then raised, plucked, beheaded, cut up, put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun. Damn! I don't have that much time! Scrambled!"” ThinkingSaidHumorFunnyAnswersCuttingLike YouUnderstoodRaisedDamnRestaurantsEggsChickensSandwichesWaitressBuns Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know when you go into a restaurant, and it gets busy and they start a waiting list, and they start calling out names, "DuFresnes, party of two." They say again, "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll just go to the next name, "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing! And they're hungry! That's a double whammy! "Bush, search party of three!" You can eat once you find the DuFresnes!” PeopleIfsKnowsTwoHumorSeemsCareFunnyThreeNextNamesWaitingAnswersPartyHappenedMissingCallingYeahBusyListsHungryRestaurants Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.” HumorKidsFunnyAnswersBoysAltars Author:Mike Birbiglia
“If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.” IfsMenStillsFunnyLiteratureNamesLostAnswersArgumentLibertarianLost You Author:Elbert Hubbard
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” ProblemFunnySpiritualityAnswersEducationTeachingQuestioningGiftedFunny InspirationalEnlighteningAsking QuestionsSpiritual AwarenessQuestions And AnswersFunny MotivationalQuestions AskedRhinocerosAnswering Questions Author:Eugene Ionesco