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Faults Quotes

“It is not possible to be truly balanced in one's views of an abuser and an abused woman. As Dr. Judith Herman explains eloquently in her masterwork Trauma and Recovery, “neutrality” actually serves the interests of the perpetrator much more than those of the victim and so is not neutral. Although an abuser prefers to have you wholeheartedly on his side, he will settle contentedly for your decision to take a middle stance. To him, that means you see the couple's problems as partly her fault and partly his fault, which means it isn't abuse.”

MeanProblemWomenSidesInterestDecisionViewsImpossibleMiddleCoupleBalanceAbuseVictimFaultsTraumaRecoverySettlingBalancedDrsImpossibilityExplainingOppressorsEloquentStanceNeutralityAbusersPerpetratorsWholeheartedlyAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenRelationship ProblemWeak Women
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities if I drop the ball on them. If I'm unhappy about any aspect of my life, whether it has to do with our relationship or not, it's your fault. You should not place demands on me at all. You should be grateful for whatever I choose to give. I am above criticism. I am a very loving and giving partner. You're lucky to have me.”

IfsMenGivingShouldCareJobsAttitudeResponsibilityLuckyDemandAspectCriticismBallsGratefulFaultsIncludingPartnersDrivingUnhappyOur RelationshipBe Grateful
Author:Lundy Bancroft
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“When a friend is carried to his grave, we at once find excuses for every weakness, and palliation of every fault. We recollect a thousand endearments, which before glided off our minds without impression, a thousand favors unrepaid, a thousand duties unperformed; and wish, vainly wish, for his return, not so much that we may receive as that we may bestow happiness, and recompense that kindness which before we never understood.”

MindMayDeathWishKindnessDutyReturnThousandUnderstoodWeaknessFaultsExcuseFavorsGravesImpressionRecompenseEndearment
Book:The Wisdom of the Rambler, Adventurer, and Idler
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“The lurking tragedy: The chances are that an accident will some day happen to you at a friend's dinner table ... As long as water and coffee and jelly exist, a certain percentage of each will necessarily be overturned upon a like number of snowy white tablecloths. Usually the tragedy is really no one's fault.”

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Book:Etiquette Every Child Should Know
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“Very often, the way love is defined, it does violence to both people. It almost makes them a slave to the other. For example, if to be in love, or to be married, it means that I'm responsible for the other person's happiness, now we get into this guilt game, where if they're upset, I'm at fault. Soon, that makes the person we are closest to about as much fun to be around as a prolonged dental appointment.”

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Author:Marshall B. Rosenberg
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“People seem able to love their dogs with an unabashed acceptance that they rarely demonstrate with family or friends. The dogs do not disappointment them, or, if they do, the owners manages to forget about it quickly. I want to learn to love people like this, the way I love my dog, with pride and enthusiasm and a complete amnesia for faults. In short, to love others the way my dog loves me.”

PeopleIfsWayWantSeemsAbleForgetDogAcceptancePrideFaultsDisappointmentManageEnthusiasmOwnersMy DogAmnesiaDog LoveI Love My DogLove My Dog
Author:Ann Patchett
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“With all this talk about the supposed strain in relations [with the Soviet Union], there is an inference that somehow it is our fault. But we didn't kill Russian civilians by shooting down a civilian airplane. We didn't attempt to conquer an adjacent country to ours. We didn't walk out on negotiations and refuse to give a date for when we would resume.”

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Author:Ronald Reagan
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“We are very hip on the fact that America's always No. 1. On this we are not, in terms of the number of women in our legislative branches and obviously as head of state. We need to push on that. I hate to say this: It isn't all men's fault. I think some of it is our own attitude and approach. Some of it very healthy, that women want to make choices about their lives and how they want to spend their time, and what they value.”

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Author:Madeleine Albright
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