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Flatulence Quotes

Browse 25 quotes about Flatulence.

Flatulence Quotes

“…he was doing a breath hydrogen test. If you know the amount of hydrogen someone is exhaling orally, it's a simple matter to extrapolate the amount they're exhaling rectally. This is because a fixed percentage of hydrogen produced in the colon is absorbed into the blood and, and when it reaches the lungs, exhaled. The breath hydrogen test has given flatus researchers a simple, consistent measure of gas production that does not require the subject to fart into a balloon.”

BloodGasHydrogenFlatulenceColonAbsorbGulpMary RoachExtrapolate
Book:Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal
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“Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.”

SexMasturbationFartSelf AbuseFlatulenceFartingOnanism
Book:On Masturbation
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“But in his excitement and having eaten too fast, Henri gave himself away in an all too familiar fashion. In the front seat, both the Chief Inspector and Isabelle Lacoste cracked open their windows, preferring the bitter cold outside to what threatened to melt the upholstery inside. 'Does he do that often,' she gasped. 'It's a sign of affection, I'm told,' said the Chief, not meeting her eyes, 'a compliment.' Gamache paused, turning his head to window. 'A great compliment.' Isabelle Lacoste smiled. She was used to similar compliments from her husband and now their young son. She wondered why the Y chromosome was so smelly.”

PetsFlatulenceGamacheLouise PennyHow The Light Gets In
Book:How the Light Gets In
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“I wonder, whether, if I had had any education I should have been more, or less, of a fool than I am. It would have deprived me surely of those exquisite moments of mental flatulence which every now and then inflate the cerebral vacuum with a delicious sense of latent possibilities-of stretching oneself to cosmic limits, and who would ever give up the reality of dreams for relative knowledge?”

IfsGivingShouldHas BeensMomentsDreamRealityWonderPossibilityFoolLimitsGiving UpShould HaveOneselfRelativeCosmicNow And ThenDeliciousDeprivedExquisiteShould Have BeenVacuumsStretchingLatentCerebralFlatulence
Book:Her Brothers Her Journal
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“I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.”

WellsAgeCertainWaitingRealizingLinesSeeingEmotionalColorCapableFemaleEndureMalesShoesObsessionLoudMaturityEnjoymentHardship80sBlastChildbirthPsychoticRestroomFlatulenceEmotional MaturityWaiting In Line
Author:Dave Barry
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“I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls.”

WorldWayWantGivingKindTwoSelfGirlNextInterestingWorryStupidThousandDaughterStandingEmptyOriginalsIndependentKneesObsessedSkinnyMy GirlIdealisticOpinionatedHermioneParkinsonSelf ObsessedTwo DaughtersPansiesChihuahuaFlatulenceStupid Girl
Author:J. K. Rowling
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