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Humor Quotes

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Humor Quotes

“If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be alive and have the bad image.”

Ifs Humor Funny Choices Alive Humorous Israel

Book:As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister

Source: As good as Golda: the warmth and wisdom of Israel's Prime Minister

“I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.”

Humor Funny Alive Baseball Series Staying Staying Alive Dodgers

Author:Jerry Coleman

“The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.”

Men Stills Body Humor Government Funny Hate Lines Alive Police Rap Ice Reports Rapper Dead Man Vanilla Chalk Biggie

Author:Chris Rock

“You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!”

Should Humor Funny Alive

Author:Dylan Moran

“All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. "Are you sad? Do you get stressed, do you have anxiety?" "Yes, I have all those things! I'm alive!"”

Humor Today Funny Alive Tvs Anxiety Stressed I'm Alive Prozac Antidepressants

Author:Ellen DeGeneres

“It seems amazing that the Navy SEALs managed to get inside the compound and shoot Osama so efficiently. I can only imagine they were told that the mission was to rescue a bearded British hostage and he must be brought out alive.”

I Can Humor Seems Funny Alive Imagine Missions British Rescue Navy Compounds Seals Hostage Navy Seal

Author:Frankie Boyle