“I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.” KnowsBelieveHumorCoursesAsksJesusChristReligiousBloodStudentsJesus ChristPositive AtheismAsk MeSaviorBin LadenOsama Bin LadenBlood Of Jesus Author:Jerry Falwell
“People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something.” PeopleThinkingTryingShowsHumorFunnyAsksLateAsk MeAutographs Author:Mitch Hedberg
“If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House, it doesn't look very cozy.” IfsFirstsLooksHumorWould BeFunnyAsksHousePresidentWhiteFemaleAsk MeWhite HouseReally CoolCozyFemale President Author:Jennifer Lopez
“People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'” PeopleHumorFunnyArtistAsksAsk Me Author:Bo Burnham
“I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.” ThinkingWantHumorFunnyAmericaAsksFeltSidesRight NowEatingRedFolksAsk MeMeatRestaurantsVegetarianBowlsDishesBroccoliRed MeatWimpsSide Dishes Author:Denis Leary
“Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'” MenHumorFunnyGirlAsksOne DayMy FriendsAsk MeThat GirlOne Day At A Time Author:Adam Ferrara
“Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.” PeopleIfsWantWellsHumorKidsFunnyThreeAsksEffectsDegreesSixMovedWorriedAsk MeGlobal WarmingPhoenixI Love My KidsLove My Kids Author:Dennis Miller