“I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'” ShouldSaidHumorFunnyFacesDadShould HaveRubbishHawksBlokesSlayer Author:Bill Bailey
“Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"” HumorFunnyMorningMetsFolksLegsHonestlyBusOffenceBlokesBus Stops Author:Billy Connolly
“I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.” TryingHumorFunnySawsBlokesChattingCheetahs Author:Tim Vine
“So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".” NeedsHumorFunnyHouseWitnessCarpetBlokesHoover Author:Tim Vine
“I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"” SaidHumorFunnySellsShopsBlokesKettles Author:Tim Vine
“So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.” I CanHumorTodayFunnyRememberNamesMetsBlokesCrosswords Author:Tim Vine
“I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.” HumorTodayFunnyClubsLocalsBlokes Author:Tim Vine
“This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!” HumorFunnyBlokes Author:Russell Howard