“Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.” FirstsHumorFunnyObjectsPicksTeethChairsIronMetalsHookDentist Author:Bill Cosby
“My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.” WantHumorKidsFunnyGrowsFamilyGrowing UpPrisonChairsElectricThumbsWardensElectric Chair Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a bunch of people that I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated and not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand? I want a chair too!” PeopleKnowsWayWantDoeShowsHumorHandsFunnySoundFrontsComfortableSticksBunchDrunkChairsElectric Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."” IfsWellsHumorFunnyFiguresBedDirectDinnerHungryChairsBreakfastLunchBed And Breakfasts Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.” IfsKnowsHas BeensEndsHumorKidsFunnySawsExcitedFlyingParksChairsStringsImpressedKites Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"” SaidHumorFunnyFallFunHaving FunChairsThey SaidParanoidGetting High Author:Bill Cosby
“He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.” PhilosophyHumorSchoolFunnyGlassesChairsShiftingWhisky Author:Dylan Moran
“I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."” ThinkingHumorFunnyWonderChairs Author:Robin Williams
“One time, I was so hungry, I ate the beans in a bean bag chair.” HumorFunnyHungryChairsBagsOne TimeBeansBean Bags Author:George Lopez
“At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.” FirstsHumorKidsFunnyBrokenSeatsChairsAirplaneKickingMassage Author:Kristen Schaal