“I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, "Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular."” IfsThinkingNeedsTwoSometimesProblemHumorFunnyNightHoursMiddleColdWake UpYeahCoveredSweatNo ProblemMiddle Of The Night Author:Mitch Hedberg
“"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"” IfsMenWantYearsWellsEndsHumorFunnyGuyRedOkayPaidYeahAssMeatCoveredFifteenThis GuySweatersFifteen YearsRed Meat Author:Denis Leary
“About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard - after that he went downhill very quickly.” HumorFunnyMonthsDiedCoveredGrandfatherMy GrandfatherLard Author:Milton Jones
“A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."” MenFirstsHumorFunnyGuyTurnsNextAsksHappenedHe ManLuckyWindowGlassesCoveredToesLucky YouBandages Author:Frank Carson
“A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.” MenMaySaidHumorFunnyFoundReportsCoveredSauceStrawberriesFlakesSprinklesFound Dead Author:Frank Carson
“Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.” MenHumorFunnyLyingFoundPoliceIceCoveredCreamIce CreamVansLying On The Floor Author:Tommy Cooper