“I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.” IfsHumorFunnyScienceImagineCrazyCodeDancerImagine ThatTap DanceTap DancersMorse Code Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, "we're going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He's crazy."” KnowsMindHumorFunnyGuyLostCrazyMouthsSaneThat GuyStraws Author:Mitch Hedberg
“All you crazy white people "I'm American!", all you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it. That's it! What, you think you're better than somebody from France 'cause you came out of a pussy in Detroit?” PeopleThinkingHumorFunnyMotherCausesWhiteCrazyFranceSoilDetroitPussy Author:Chris Rock
“Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!” HumorFunnyCrazySheetsBracelet Author:Dave Attell
“God doesn't seem to talk to people like he used to. Who's he talking to now? I don't know. Then I'm walking down the street in Manhattan one day, and I realize maybe it's those guys you see walking down the street talking to themselves. You know, those guys that are like, 'I can't! No, I can't!' Maybe the other side of that conversation is God going, 'You're the new leader.' 'No I can't!' They're not crazy - they're reluctant prophets.” PeopleKnowsI CanHumorSeemsFunnyUsedGuySidesRealizingTalkingLeaderCrazyStreetsWalkingOne DayConversationProphetManhattanReluctant Author:Marc Maron
“I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!” SaidHomeHumorFunnyHouseCrazySonIslandsMy SonConey Island Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.” KnowsYearsSaidEndsHumorFunnyMy OwnDealsKnow HowFourCrazyFrontsYears AgoMiseryWorkersBreadFour YearsPizzaMy Own LifeAnklesHutsCo Worker Author:Zach Galifianakis
“... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!” YearsMadeHumorFunnyGuyCrazyInsanityThis Guy Author:Woody Allen
“I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.” IdeasHumorFunnyGuyHouseVoiceHoursPartyImagineCrazyThousandHundredLonelyRadioGood TimesRoofSoothingTalk RadioStackingStir Crazy Author:Adam Carolla