“The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose - for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of metaphysics.” HumansTwoHumorSeemsFunnyPurposeHuman BeingsAnimalPartyGreaterExampleCapacityDinnerInventionBoredomBoresEpicMetaphysicsDinner PartyEpic Poems Book:Minority Report Source: Minority Report
“If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.” IfsMenHumorFunnyThreeSeriousTypeDinnerSaladLettuce Author:Rita Rudner
“If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"” IfsHumorFunnyPayGroupsOffersNotesDinnerChecksThanksWalletsGroup Of Friends Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."” IfsWellsHumorFunnyFiguresBedDirectDinnerHungryChairsBreakfastLunchBed And Breakfasts Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I went out to dinner with a Marine last weekend. He looked across the table and he goes, "I could kill you in seven seconds." I go, "I'll just have toast, then."” HumorFunnyLastsTablesSevenDinnerSecondsWeekendMarineToasts Author:Margaret Smith
“My girlfriend and I went to a dinner party the other night and we ended up playing charades. There was another couple there that was deaf. They were so good.” HumorFunnyNightPartyCoupleDinnerGirlfriendDeafMy GirlfriendDinner PartyGood FunCharades Author:Zach Galifianakis
“I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'” ThinkingHumansLooksHumorFunnyAnimalDatingDinnerKingdomsMatesSmarterAlrightAnimal Kingdom Author:Adam Ferrara
“Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."” WorldHumorFunnyFortuneDinnerFinishedOpeningChineseCookiesVisitingFortune CookieFuture World Book:Holidays in Hell Source: Holidays in Hell