“How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?” IfsKnowsHumorKidsPoliticalDo You KnowPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."” KnowsHumorFunnyAsksMy FriendsTestsAidsDo You KnowKnow MeBrian Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well... we looked at the receipts."” KnowsWellsWarHumorFunnyWeaponsIncrediblesIraqReportsDo You KnowPersianGulf WarReceiptsPersian Gulf Author:Bill Hicks
“Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.” IfsKnowsWholeHumorFunnyHouseSidesHoursCracksDo You KnowVcr Author:Chris Rock
“I'm sorry, was that homophobic? No--I think it was, 'cause I hear that a lot. Dave, What?, You're talking about being gay. You probably secretly are gay. And I'm like listen voice in my head, I'm not! HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT? I know I wouldn't like it, other scarier voice in my head! 'Cause one time while making a sandwich, a cucumber went up my ass. Three times.” ThinkingKnowsHumorFunnyThreeCausesVoiceTalkingGaySorryAssDo You KnowOne TimeI'm SorryThree TimesSandwichesDaveBeing GayHomophobicCucumbersVoices In My Head Author:Dave Attell