“Forever is a very long time, especially the bit towards the end.” LongEndsHumorFunnyBitsForeverLong Time Author:Janna Levin
“Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.” MenMayLongHumorFunnyExpressionOceanLong TimeEnglandSizeCome UpShipsBeing TrueHoney Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!” PeopleKnowsFeelsLongHumorFunnyRoomsNiceLong TimeWinnerStaringHotelQuartersBathroomToiletsVegasNice ThingsArrivalsHotel RoomsCasinos Author:Lewis Black
“A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.” KnowsMenLongSaidHumorFunnyHavensHe ManLong TimeDoctorsIll Author:Tommy Cooper
“The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.” LongSaidHumorDrugLong TimeAlcoholWeedMarijuanaSixtyTestedTestingAlcoholicsLong Time AgoFunny MarijuanaFunny WeedFunny DrugDrug Testing Author:Bill Lee