“I'm lucky that my real-life Mom has both a great sense of humor about herself and an amazing ability to slip into complete denial if the subject matter gets a little too close to home.” IfsLittlesRealMatterHomeHumorAbilitySubjectsMomLuckyReal LifeDenialSense Of HumorSlipsSubject Matter Author:Cathy Guisewite
“Religion is a personal, private matter and parents, not public school officials, should decide their children's religious training. We should not have teacher-led prayers in public schools, and school officials should never favor one religion over another, or favor religion over no religion (or vice versa). I also believe that schools should not restrict students' religious liberties. The free exercise of faith is the fundamental right of every American, and that right doesn't stop at the schoolhouse door.” ShouldBelieveChildrenMatterHumorSchoolPoliticalParentReligiousPrayerLibertyTeacherDoorsStudentsExerciseTrainingFundamentalsVicesFavorsOfficialsPublic SchoolVice VersaPolitical HumorReligious Liberty Author:George W. Bush
“They said, "You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people." And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.” PeopleKnowsSaidMatterHumorSeemsPoliticalVoiceIssuesHearingRight ThingThey SaidPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible,without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.” WellsMatterHumorReligiousPracticeAreasErrorsPositive AtheismEtcGeographyInfallible Book:Finding inner peace and strength Source: Finding inner peace and strength
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.” MatterHumorFunnyWallTennisDepressingMotivational TennisTennis BallsInspirational TennisFunny TennisTennis Team Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.” I CanMatterHumorFunnyComedyPiecesHungrySpaghettiNoodles Author:Mitch Hedberg
“And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.” WellsMatterHumorFunnyCitiesBaseballTonightChicagoKansasLead InKansas City Author:Jerry Coleman
“When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.” IfsWantShouldMatterHumorFunnyAsksCausesTouchedTouch MeYes Or NoDiarrheaTicklish Author:Demetri Martin
“I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"” PeopleEndsMatterFactsHumorBigsFunnyParentLike YouBabyLawyerInsaneHeySmokeTeenagerPotPregnantSpoiledSkatingBig FamiliesRoller Skating Author:Jim Gaffigan
“So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."” MenTryingSaidMatterHumorFunnyLyingFallBreakBarsPocketsGuttersToffee Author:Chic Murray