“The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.” IfsMenWayLooksHumorCareFunnyMirrors Author:Rita Rudner
“I was stuck in traffic and I looked in the mirror and in the car behind me there was a couple having a horrible argument and right below their image it said "Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear". I just thought, man I hope so because she was pretty mad.” MenSaidHumorFunnyBehindsCarObjectsCoupleArgumentMirrorsMadStuckHorribleTrafficStuck In Traffic Author:Demetri Martin
“Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"” MenWellsLooksPersonsDoneHumorFunnyHavensHe ManTaxesPaidMirrorsCourtExcuseTrust MeExcuse Me Author:Lewis Black
“My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."” SaidHumorFunnyWifeWindowMirrorsMy WifeSheepButchers Author:Frank Carson
“I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."” SaidHumorFunnyFacesMemoriesMirrorsBathroomGood Memories Author:Frank Carson
“It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you just go, 'Oh man. I'm going to compromise my dreams, get fat, sick, old and die someday. I kind of want to have someone around for that.'” MenWantKindMomentsDreamHumorFunnyDiesHalfSickMirrorsFatsCompromiseSomedayThat MomentOther HalfLooking In The Mirror Author:Marc Maron
“I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."” KnowsFeelsLooksSaidHumorFunnyPerfectMorningDoctorsMirrorsYeahGet UpThrowingEvery MorningEyesightVomitingThrowing UpUgly Face Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.” YearsLittlesHumorFunnyHateWishHoursI HateMirrorsNakedFatsMeatNew YearMediocreWish YouNew Years Eve Author:Jim Norton