“My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.” WayYearsKindLittlesHumorKidsFunnyHurtMillionsBabyLet MeRefuseIdiotCuteMy SisterAdorableNewborn Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.” DoeMadeHumorWantedFunnyComedyWalkingActressesMade ItMy SisterHalfwayTrailers Author:Mitch Hedberg
“My sister Wendy has a husband and two children, and they have a family photo on top of the VCR, where they're all looking slightly to the left. As though something is going on over there! I guess something happened over to the left that made everybody happy! Except my sister is cross-eyed, so she can't quite pull it off. One eye is right-on.” ChildrenMadeTwoHumorEyeFunnyLeftHappenedHusbandCrossesMy SisterWendyVcrFamily Photo Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.” SaidSometimesHumorKidsFunnyDadRaisesMovedDollarsMy DadSpokesMy Sister Author:Adam Carolla
“My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.” HumorWantedFunnyDogTaughtCatPetMy SisterBark Author:Chic Murray
“I was made to believe that my life was going to be fixed and it wasn't. I'm still the same loser who had flown to Los Angeles on my sister's frequent flier miles just six days before.” BelieveMadeStillsHumorFunnySixMilesFixedLos AngelesLoserMy Sister Author:Mike Birbiglia