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Humor Quotes

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Humor Quotes

“I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide.”

Men Want Should Humor Funny Guy Turns Race Feet Car Window Radio Circles Drivers Keep Going Tides Slow Down Bugs Turn-on Passengers Race Car

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.”

People Needs Persons Enough Humor Able Political Next Race Generations Taxes Rate Budgets Assets Senate Transfers Political Humor

Author:George W. Bush

“I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race.”

Humor Might Political Race Happened Position Presidential Discussion Awkward Political Humor Finality

Author:George W. Bush

“When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.”

Kind Humor Funny Race Brain Expression Jokes

Book:The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-town America

Source: The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-town America

“I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. My teeth are off-white. I'm not even white. I'm off-white. It's a new race; we will prevail!”

Humor Funny Faces White Race Teeth

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.”

World Way Humor Funny Dies Race Cities Sky New York Exciting Yeah Shooting New York City Construction Crash Riot Places In The World Subway Sidewalk Cranes Blowing Up Asbestos Race Riots

Author:Denis Leary

“Have you seen that show on CBS called 'The Amazing Race'? Is that show about white people?”

People Shows Humor Funny White Race

Author:Zach Galifianakis

“I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"”

Persons Said I Can Humor Funny Black Can Do White Race My Favorite Insult Chickens Plus Soup Asian Beans Crackers Slurs

Author:Mike Birbiglia