“This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were!” KnowsMindSaidHumorFunnyForgetSellsLoadOf My MindForget Everything Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.” WantRealHumorBigsFunnyMachinesSellsBeing RealVending Machines Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I saw soda pop for $1.20 a six pack. That price messes with your head. You start thinking you're gonna sell soda pop. Suddenly I've got packs of pop with me. "Looking to buy some pop? 50 cents a can. It's not refrigerated because this is a half-assed commitment!"” ThinkingHumorFunnyHalfSawsSixCommitmentSellsPopsMessCentsPacksSodaSix PacksSoda Pop Author:Mitch Hedberg
“My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.” DoeHumorFunnyDifficultWifeSellsMy WifeSeashore Author:Milton Jones
“A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."” MenGivingHumorFunnyWalksWindowGive MeSellsShopsPetWaspsShopkeepers Author:Frank Carson
“I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"” SaidHumorFunnySellsShopsBlokesKettles Author:Tim Vine