“Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.” HumorFunnySpeakChurchAnswersMassHearingFavorsCeremony Author:Charles de Gaulle
“Personally I don't spend much time thinking about being funny. For me it's always been just a way to get by, a way to be likable yet to remain removed. When I speak up, it's not because I have any particular answers; rather, I have a desire to puncture the pretentiousness of those who seem so certain they do.” ThinkingWayHumorSeemsDesireCertainSpeakAnswersParticularBeing FunnyPretentiousnessPuncture Book:Bachelor Girls Source: Bachelor Girls
“You'll hear people say it's racist to test. Folks, it's racist not to test. Because guess who gets shuffled through the system oftentimes? Children whose parents don't speak English as a first language, inner-city kids. It's so much easier to quit on somebody than to remediate.” PeopleFirstsChildrenHumorKidsPoliticalSpeakLanguageParentCitiesEasierTestsFolksQuittingRacistPolitical HumorSpeak EnglishInner City Author:George W. Bush
“There are some monuments where the land is so widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the - the precious part, so to speak - I guess all land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment.” PeopleWantHumorPoliticalSpeakEnvironmentLandMonumentSpoilPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be.” MeanHumorPoliticalSpeakResultsNew YorkReputationFantasticMayorsPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?” HumorFunnySpeakBaseballCommunicateMexicanHector Author:Jerry Coleman
“I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.” IfsI CanHumorFunnyGuySpeakRoomsStageRight NowEmptyBlowTonightEmpty Stage Author:Bill Hicks
“Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.” KnowsHumorEyeFunnySpeakForgetPantsSpeak English Author:David Cross
“The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.” EndsHumorFunnySpeakStruggleEastOlympicsSpeak EnglishGlasgow Author:Frankie Boyle