Home / Topics / Humor Quotes

Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!”

Ifs Needs Made Humor Funny Lays Bars Holes Sugar Candy Candy Bar

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"”

Shows Humor Funny Sugar

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz term for "add sugar to".”

Knows Mean Shows Humor Funny Term Jokes Add Sugar Cds Show Biz

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie so sweet? There's not enough sugar in the universe.”

Believe Mean Made Enough Humor Funny Universe Sweet Don't Believe Smell Sugar Pie Pumpkin Pumpkin Pie

Book:Nothing's Sacred

Source: Nothing's Sacred

“Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible.”

Giving Should Humor Funny Birth Sugar Pills Birth Control

Author:Adam Carolla