“Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.” LittlesHumorFunnyGirlComedyFourThousandClothesDollsStitchesGirl Love Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“We're now interested in finding those who may attack America and arrest them before they do. We've had over nearly a thousand people have been detained in America and questioned about their motives and their intentions.” PeopleMayHas BeensHumorAmericaPoliticalThousandFindingsIntentionMotivePolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“We know, on the authority of Moses, that longer than six thousand years the world did not exist.” KnowsWorldYearsHumorReligiousThousandAuthoritySixThousand YearsMoses Author:Martin Luther
“For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.” WantNeedsIdeasHumorFunnyCarProductsThousandFilledOilNot SureMallsParkingHydrogenParking LotHindenburg Author:Dennis Miller
“The whimsicalness of our own humor is a thousand times more fickle and unaccountable than what we blame so much in fortune.” HumorFunnyThousandBlameFortuneFickleInconstancy Author:Francois de La Rochefoucauld
“I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!” HumorFunnyThousandSevenSmokePacks Author:Denis Leary
“Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.” IfsWantTwoHumorFunnyFoodThousandHungryRice Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.” ThinkingFirstsBookHumorFunnyBrainDoorsDrugThousandTenPerceptionCriticsMeltingHuxleyDoors Of Perception Author:Bill Bailey
“The worst job I ever had was as a forensicologist for the United Nations. One time I thought I'd come across the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turns out it was just a field of carrots.” HumorFunnyJobsTurnsNationsUnitedWorstFieldsThousandMassGravesOne TimeUnited NationsCarrotsSnowman Author:Milton Jones
“When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."” WantSaidHumorKidsFunnyParentFiveThousandDollarsNotesThey SaidNo RespectKidnapped Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.” IdeasHumorFunnyGuyHouseVoiceHoursPartyImagineCrazyThousandHundredLonelyRadioGood TimesRoofSoothingTalk RadioStackingStir Crazy Author:Adam Carolla
“I was carrying a beautiful alcoholic conflagration around with me. The thing fed on its own heat and flamed the fiercer. There was no time, in all my waking time, that I didn't want a drink. I began to anticipate the completion of my daily thousand words by taking a drink when only five hundred words were written. It was not long until I prefaced the beginning of the thousand words with a drink.” WantLongHumorBeautifulFiveWrittenDrinkThousandHundredAlcoholHeatFedsWakingAlcoholicsAnticipateCompletion Book:Jack London Six Pack Source: Jack London Six Pack