“You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.” HumorFunnyNextDoorsWorshipCatholicNeighbourPipeVines Author:Tim Vine
“I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.” HumorFunnySmokeLazyButtonsAlarmsVinesSnooze Button Author:Tim Vine
“So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."” MenSaidHumorFunnyWatchesHe ManShopsVinesAnalogue Author:Tim Vine
“So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."” WantSaidHumorCareFunnyGuyStarsDon't CareI Don't CareShopsPetVinesAquariumsGoldfish Author:Tim Vine
“I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."” SaidHumorFunnyDoctorsFrightenedVinesCholera Author:Tim Vine
“This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."” WantSaidHumorFunnyPiecesPaperI Want YouPencilsPolicemenVines Author:Tim Vine