“God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.” YearsLittlesHumorFunnyHateWishHoursI HateMirrorsNakedFatsMeatNew YearMediocreWish YouNew Years Eve Author:Jim Norton
“I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.” WantYearsEndsHumorRunningFunnyGuyThreeThree YearsFreakRelationships Ending Author:Jim Norton
“You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.” YearsStillsHumorFunnyGratefulMeatBagsBe Grateful Author:Jim Norton
“I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.” YearsEnoughUseHumorBigsSeemsFunnyFansBabySizeCaloriesPastriesUse Of Time Book:Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories Source: Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories
“Old age is fifteen years older than I am.” YearsHumorAgeFunnyFunAgingOld AgeFifteenOld PeopleYoung AgeFifteen YearsOlder PeopleFunny AgingYoung And OldAge And YouthInspirational AgeFifteen Years Old Author:Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.