Best politics & comedy Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“In an interview, former vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan said he does not have a racist bone in his body. However, he admitted he has three sexist bones and his spine is homophobic.”

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Author:David Letterman

“Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!”

“Director Ken Burns revealed that his next documentary is about Franklin Roosevelt, and it's fourteen hours long...which sounds like too much, until you realize there's been over thirty hours of TV dedicated to Honey Boo Boo.”

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Author:Jimmy Fallon

“What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president?”

Thinking Needs Two Reality Politics President Money Class Poverty Comedy Strategy Voting Tourettes Hobos

Author:Jon Stewart

“People call me a socialist sometimes. But, no, you gotta meet real socialists. You'll have a sense of what a socialist is.”

People Real Sometimes Reality Political Politics Money Party Democracy Comedy Wall Taxes Socialism Ideology Call Me Free Speech Socialist Political Parties Free Market

Author:Barack Obama

“I am a little jet lagged from my trip to Malaysia...The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days.”

Littles Politics Comedy Policy These Days Length Foreign Policy Free Speech Jet Coverage Cnn Malaysia Jet Lag

Author:Barack Obama

“These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is the new black.”

Giving Mean Political House Politics Black Party Comedy Republican Give Me Harder These Days Free Speech Orange Political Parties Partisanship

Author:Barack Obama

“Obviously [my daughters] - and Michelle - have made a lot of sacrifices on behalf of my cockamamie ideas, the running for office and things.”

Made Ideas Reality Running Politics Community Family Comedy Generations Sacrifice Human Nature Office Daughter Unity Ideology My Daughter Behalf Running For Office

Author:Barack Obama

“For the first time in our history, the winners of the White House Turkey Pardon were chosen through a highly competitive online vote. And once again, Nate Silver completely nailed it. The guy is amazing.”

“Let's face it, Fox News, you'll miss me when I'm gone. It'll be harder to convince the public that Hillary Clinton was born in Kenya.”

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Author:Barack Obama

“It's so much more fun to watch FOX when it's someone else being blitzed & sacked!”

Politics Fun Watches Comedy Foxes

Author:Hillary Clinton

“I still have that new senator smell.”

Stills Politics Work Comedy Smell Senators

Author:Cory Booker

“I would rather die than be in the United States Senate. I would be bored to death. Could you imagine me, banging around that chamber with 99 other people, asking for a motion on the amendment in the subcommittee? Forget it...You'd watch me just walk out and walk right into the Potomac River and drown. That would be it.”

“America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong. Like, I was watching 'Breaking Bad' the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It's a how-to. And then they bleeped out the word 'f__k'. And I'm like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you're not allowed to say 'f__k'? It's like when they bleeped 'molly' at the VMAs. Look what I'm doing up here right now, and you're going to bleep out 'molly'?”

“I would do almost anything Tina Fey asks me to do.”

Asks Politics Community Leadership Comedy Policy Strategy Ask Me Fey

Author:Nancy Pelosi

“The Republicans tend to choose the candidate who came in second place in the last election, and Democrats tend to move on. Ask President Ed Muskie how it worked out to be the front-runner. Ask President Howard Dean how it worked out.”

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Author:Brian Schweitzer

“I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.”

Thinking Way Political Politics Social Vision Comedy Special Consensus Scrutiny

Author:Chris Rock

“I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.”

Political Hate Politics Comedy I Hate Loathe

Author:Christian Finnegan

“The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.”

Government Political Politics Comedy Mystery Internet Witty Free Speech

Book:Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

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Politics Quotes