“President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd never be able to tell him what's in the newspapers every day.” IfsSaidKidsAblePresidentTaughtNewspapersPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush said that American workers will need new skills to get the new jobs in the 21st century. Some of the skills they're going to need are Spanish, Chinese, Korean, because that's where the jobs went. Who better than Bush as an example of what can happen when you take a job without any training.” NeedsSaidHappensJobsPresidentCenturyExampleSkillsTrainingWorkersChinese21st CenturyPresident BushKoreanNew JobAmerican WorkersNew Skills Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush announced a major new plan for the United States to put a man on the moon, which would be a really big story if this were 1962. Bush said he didn't remember anything about the 60's - I guess he wasn't lying.” IfsMenSaidStatesStoriesBigsWould BeRememberLyingPresidentUnitedUnited StatesPlansMoonMajorsPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush wants to build a space station on the moon. And from the moon, he wants to launch people to Mars. You know what this means. He's been drinking again.” PeopleKnowsWantMeanPresidentSpaceMoonDrinkingStationsMarsPresident Bush Author:David Letterman
“President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.” MenPresidentMoonDollarsMissionsBillionsMarsSlogansPresident BushDrills Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush earned $400,000 for his job as president last year. That's not really that much for being president when you think about it. But President Bush, he doesn't do it for the money, he does it for the eight months of vacation every year.” ThinkingYearsDoeJobsLastsPresidentMonthsEightVacationLast YearPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“It was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted that Iraq is not Vietnam. Of course not, he avoided Vietnam.” TryingFirstsCoursesPresidentMinutesTenToughPressesIraqVietnamConferencesAvoidedPresident BushPress Conferences Author:David Letterman
“In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last two years. The president's exact quote was: 'I ain't make none mistakes ever.'” YearsMadeSaidTwoLastsRememberNightPresidentMistakePressesTwo YearsConferencesLast NightPresident BushPress ConferencesOne Mistake Author:Conan O'Brien
“The other night, President Bush's press conference was pre-empted by 'American Idol.' You know the difference between President Bush and 'American Idol?' See, on 'American Idol,' the one with the most votes wins.” KnowsNightWinningPresidentDifferencesVotePressesIdolsConferencesPresident BushAmerican IdolPress Conferences Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush insisted that there was nothing in the August 6th, 2001 briefing, which was titled 'Bin Laden determined to attack the United States', that hinted what bin Laden was up to. Bush says that he would have moved mountains to stop the attack. Yeah, but he draws the line at reading a memo.” StatesReadingPresidentLinesUnitedUnited StatesMountainDrawsYeahMovedDeterminedPresident BushBin LadenAugustMemosBriefing Author:David Letterman
“Last night, President Bush gave a prime-time press conference. It was such a big deal that Fox decided to preempt American Idol. Which made sense to me, you don't want too many amateurs on in one night.” WantMadeBigsLastsNightPresidentDealsDecidedPressesPrimeIdolsFoxesConferencesLast NightBig DealPresident BushOne NightAmerican IdolPress ConferencesPrime Time Author:David Letterman
“President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.” WritingPresidentEconomyReturnTaxesYesterdayPresident BushLiabilityTax Returns Author:Jay Leno
“In response to the escalating violence in Iraq, President Bush is delaying the return home of 25,000 troops and will actually add reinforcements to the south. Then in a symbolic gesture he pulled down the mission accomplished banner, put on a flight suit, walked backwards to a jet fighter and flew it in reverse off an aircraft carrier.” HomePresidentViolenceReturnAddSouthResponseIraqMissionsFlightSuitsFighterAccomplishedGesturesTroopsReverseBackwardsPresident BushSymbolicFlewJetBannerAircraftCarrierReinforcementEscalatingAircraft CarriersMission Accomplished Author:Tina Fey
“President Bush says he is looking forward to the testimony of Condoleezza Rice. Yes, he is very excited about Condoleezza Rice's testimony before Congress. Well, it makes perfect sense - he wants to know what was going on, too.” KnowsWantWellsPresidentPerfectCongressExcitedTestimonyLooking ForwardPresident BushRice Author:David Letterman
“President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It's also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20.” HandsPresidentPlansJunePresident BushJanuaryJohn KerryHanding Over Author:David Letterman
“They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing American jobs anymore, he's branching out to other countries.” SaidWarCountryJobsPresidentCostLosingIraqFormerMinistersPrimeOther CountriesThey SaidPrime MinisterPresident BushAmerican JobsBranching Out Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush went out touting his economic record in Ohio last week. Now this is a state that lost 225,000 jobs since Bush took office. You know, if Bush wants to tout his record, he should do it somewhere where the Bush economy has actually created jobs, like India, or Thailand, or China.” IfsKnowsWantShouldStatesJobsLastsLostPresidentEconomyRecordsWeekEconomicOfficeIndiaChinaPresident BushOhioThailand Author:Jay Leno
“John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this.” IfsWantSaidShowsTodayPresidentMonthsLuckDebateHeyGood LuckPresident BushJohn KerryNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush got a little upset with a reporter for calling him 'sir' instead of 'Mr. President.' Man, how upset is he going to be after the election when they start calling him George again?” MenLittlesPresidentCallingElectionUpsetReportersPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush has unveiled his first campaign commercial, highlighting all of his accomplishes in office. That's why it's a 60-second spot.” FirstsPresidentOfficeAccomplishCampaignsSpotsPresident BushHighlighting Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'” YearsPersonsPresidentRichFourYears AgoJust OneVotersFour YearsBetter OffPresident BushAmerican VotersRich Person Author:Jay Leno
“Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of delegates he needs to win the Democratic nomination. See for President Bush it's different - his magic number is 5. That's the number of Supreme Court judges needed to win.” WayNeedsWellsDifferentWinningPresidentNumbersMagicJudgingNeededCourtDemocraticSupremeReachingSupreme CourtPresident BushNominationsDelegatesCourt Judges Author:Jay Leno
“The Democrats say that President Bush doesn't have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don't go well, he exits in November.” IfsWellsDoeCoursesPresidentStrategyDemocratIraqPresident BushExitNovember Author:Jay Leno
“I heard this today and I thought this was fascinating and interesting. President Bush has two daughters, two beautiful daughters, and they may work on their father's presidential campaign after they get out of college and I thought, well, that's a pretty good move because in this economy, they won't be able to find real jobs.” WellsMayTwoRealTodayAbleJobsBeautifulMovingFatherPresidentInterestingEconomyHeardCollegeDaughterCampaignsPresidentialFascinatingPresident BushReal JobsPresidential CampaignTwo DaughtersBeautiful Daughter Author:David Letterman
“A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.” IfsThinkingTodayMovingNextHousePresidentWhiteMonthsBeatsElectionWorriedWhite HouseCapturePollsPresident BushMarginsBin LadenOsama Bin LadenJohn KerryMoving Up Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S. this year. They say they were off by roughly 2.6 million jobs.” ThinkingYearsJobsHousePresidentWhiteMillionsWhite HousePredictionsPresident BushNew JobBacktracking Author:Jay Leno
“In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.” RememberPresidentSeeingMetsTroopsPresident BushLouisianaNational Guard Author:Craig Kilborn
“Some sad news, President Bush's lapdog passed away. Gee, I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick?” KnowsPresidentNewsSickPresident BushPassed AwayBlair Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the people should make the decision, not judges. Unless of course we're choosing a president, then he prefers judges.” PeopleShouldSaidImportantCoursesPresidentDecisionIssuesJudgingGayMarriedSan FranciscoPresident BushGay PeopleGetting MarriedImportant Issues Author:Jay Leno
“It was reported in the paper that President Bush received a 'warm reception' from the Daytona 500 drivers. Well sure, the drivers had never met anyone who was sponsored by more oil companies than they were.” WellsPresidentCompanyMetsPaperWarmOilDriversPresident BushReceptionOil CompaniesDaytonaDaytona 500 Author:Jay Leno
“In his annual economic report to Congress President Bush said that the transfer of American jobs overseas is actually part of a positive transformation that will enrich the U.S. economy over time. So basically, losing your job to someone else can be a good thing. Of course we'll see how he feels about that in November.” FeelsSaidJobsCoursesPresidentEconomyEconomicLosingTransformationGood ThingsCongressReportsPresident BushNovemberTransfersAnnualsAmerican Jobs Author:Jay Leno
“The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just need to find someone who remembers Bush working on an economic plan. ... I think the White House spent more money looking for this guy than finding weapons of mass destruction.” ThinkingNeedsRememberGuyFoundHousePresidentWhitePlansEconomicFindingsWeaponsMassDestructionServingWhite HouseMore MoneyThis GuyPresident BushWeapons Of Mass DestructionMass DestructionNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy.” GuyPresidentPercentThreatSizeIraqHeyPollsPresident BushMissilesExaggerated Author:Craig Kilborn
“Political analysts say that President Bush's re-election strategy is to try and convince Americans that he's a war president. I don't get that, do you think that'll work? I mean, don't you think that if he tries to convince the American people that we need a war president, isn't he afraid that they're going to vote for the guy that was actually in a war?” PeopleIfsThinkingNeedsTryingMeanWarPoliticalGuyPresidentVoteElectionStrategyConvincePresident BushAnalysts Author:Jay Leno
“There's this huge controversy over the fact that President Bush apparently received credit for National Guard service in Alabama in '72 and '73 even though his commanding officers are saying he never reported. I think what's even more disturbing is that he received enough credits to graduate from Yale.” ThinkingEnoughFactsPresidentHugeCreditOfficersGraduatesControversyDisturbingPresident BushAlabamaYaleNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.” PresidentMonthsSixElectionDemocraticBottomRoutineSailSix MonthsPresident BushEmergingNominationsJohn KerryElection DayNational Guard Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard.” ThinkingPresidentLinesPicksDisappearStoresFishingWormsPresident BushBassRubberNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush is in the hot seat over Iraqi pre-war intelligence. Remember the good ol' days when the only thing the president was trying to cover up was a stain?” TryingWarRememberPresidentHotSeatsPresident BushStainsCover UpsGood Ol Days Author:Craig Kilborn
“On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh, you mean like last time?'” IfsMeanSaidLastsLostPresidentElectionPressesYesterdayLast TimePresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House said, 'no no,' that they have payroll records to show that he served in the National Guard. But today, the commanding officers can't remember seeing Bush between May and October of '72. President Bush said, 'Remember me? I'm the drunk guy. Remember me?'” MaySaidStoriesShowsBigsTodayRememberGuyHousePresidentWhiteRecordsSeeingDrunkWhite HouseOfficersPresident BushOctoberRemember MePayrollNational Guard Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.” MaySaidWarPresidentRecordsCandidatesVietnamPresident Bush Author:Craig Kilborn
“President Bush bet his presidency-and America's world leadership-on the war in Iraq. Tragically, it looks as though he bit off more than the American people were willing to chew.” PeopleWorldLooksWarAmericaBitsPresidentWillingIraqPresidencyPresident BushWorld Leader Author:Mort Kondracke
“President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again.” PeopleTodayPresidentAcceptingNormalCongressGet BackPresident BushBribe Author:Jay Leno
“Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next Democratic presidential nominee?” NextGoalPresidentDemocraticPresidentialExpertsSaddamHusseinPresident BushHumiliate Author:Jay Leno
“The reality is that [Barack] Obama has some 15 countries in the current Libya coalition. President Bush put together close to 50 countries for the Afghan coalition, some 40 countries for the Iraqi coalition, more than 90 countries for the Proliferation Security Initiative and over 90 countries in the Global War on Terror.” WarCountryRealityTogetherPresidentSecurityCurrentsTerrorBarackInitiativePresident BushCoalitionsWar On TerrorLibyaProliferationAfghan Author:Donald Rumsfeld
“Maybe it's a sick fantasy of mine, but I am really looking forward to a debate between a general and a deserter. Plus, I really want to hear President Bush have to say, "Yes, General, No, General."” WantPresidentFantasyMinesSickDebatePlusLooking ForwardPresident Bush Author:Michael Moore
“President Bush had an opportunity tonight to say, 'Look ... things aren't going very well in Iraq and we did make some miscalculations and misjudgments there,' but he is so stubbornly arrogant - he just sticks with that same formula that he has in talking about the war on Iraq that just defies the reality that we all see on the ground.” WellsLooksWarRealityOpportunityPresidentTalkingSticksIraqTonightFormulasArrogantPresident BushMiscalculations Author:Mike McCurry
“President Bush's mercury rule is a gift to the big energy companies that helped put him in office” BigsEnergyPresidentCompanyOfficePresident BushMercury Author:Tom Allen
“Unless things change radically, President Bush will be the first President since Herbert Hoover to have presided over a net loss of jobs during his administration.” FirstsJobsPresidentLossAdministrationThings ChangePresident BushHooverJob Loss Author:Tim Johnson